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It wouldn't bother me if I was invited to these events for the 2nd time and I would gladly go. People who are offended by it just won't attend.
If you're happy and want to celebrate with friends and family, go for it! I'd happily attend any of those events for a dear friend or relative.
I noticed someone picked other can you please explain!! Maybe a girls spa day/bachelorette?
If someone offers to throw you a shower, I think it's fine. I think it's a bit questionable to request a shower whether it's your first or second marriage.
As for a bachelorette, I think that it's up to you and your friends what you're comfortable with. If you're more the spa day crowd great and if you're the wild penis themed party goods with strippers and drinking that's fine too. I think that the comfort level you you and your bridal party should help dictate the bachelorette.
I didn't know a bride was supposed to request showers and the like. Good to know! I personally would like a bachelorette party. I am 54 and I certainly do not need bridal showers. And I have no idea what a Jack and Jill is!
I think if someone wants to offer to throw a shower, and it seems like people would be ok with it, then its fine. But I think it would look gift grabby if you were requesting one. As for the bachelorette, I think that's fine, but if its the same attendants, at least offer to pay your own way out and just treat it as a girls night instead of assuming its on their dime again.
I think a bachelorette party is completely appropriate. Also I have a lot of friends who married for a second time in their 40's and all had jack and jill parties. I know because most asked to use our lake house for it :) It was a lot of laid back wild and wacky fun. You can do whatever you want. This is your guys special time. You will always encounter some naysayers in life but honestly those peopl you can never please so don't worry about them. :)
Just to clarify this isn't for me! I am already married (September 2011) and definately not gift grabby. I didn't 'request' any event, however, I was asked what I would like. I had 1 lovely shower thrown for me and girls night out. We didn't want a jack and jill as I feel it is for someone starting out and we didn't want our wedding to cost everyone a fortune. This is for a friend who is getting married and this is out of curiousity what is the norm. I was thinking of helping organize like a spa day/bachelorette or something. I wasn't sure what the norm is for a bridal shower or jack and jill etc . But based on responses looks like everything goes and it doesn't matter if it is a 2nd wedding.
I think whatever is comfortable on all ends, works! This is my second wedding and I had a Bridal Shower Tea with a very small group and we are having a Jack and Jill at a lakeside resort for anyone interested in coming, at no obligation! So far everyone has been on board, and the ideas were given to the MOH and BM when they asked for ideas on their own.
I think some sort of celebration before hand is appropriate no matter what age or number of marriages! It's a time of celebration with friends and family regardless of circumstance. It's a fun, exciting time in your life!
ETA: I see it's for a friend so this is directed at her, instead of OP! :)
@winerygirl: True statement I would gladly come just to support my friend or family member. I say go and ENJOY!!!!!
I'm a second marriage in my 30's.
I voted "other" because while I would never ask for anything, I don't think I should be prohibited from having parties because I'm a second-time bride.
That being said, my mom and sister [hurtfully] made clear that they will NOT be throwing me any parties because "they've already done that" and "no one will want to come again."
I just saw this is for your friend. Throw her a shower, she deserves it. Ask her if she would want a "bachelorette" party of sorts (at this point in my life, I would much prefer a nice dinner our with friends and a bottle of wine, over a weekend in Vegas...kwim?)
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Just curious what events a bride should have for a second marriage in her 40's? Is it a bit much to have a Jack and Jill, 1 or 2 Bridal Showers and Bachelorette Party? I'm curious on all your opinions if this is normal or is it a bit much? What events would you want if you were getting married for a 2nd time? or what would you think if you were getting invited to all of these invites? Your opinions are greatly appreciated! : )