Second middle name vs. second last name?

posted 2 years ago in Names
Post # 2
Member
10840 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I originally wanted to make my maiden name a second middle name. However, I had a friend who did this, and it resulted in nothing but problems for her. She said if she had to do it over again, she would have dropped her given middle name altogether and replaced it with her maiden name. Ultimately, that’s what I chose to do.

I also think that a change to a non-hyphenated, compound last name would create similar issues.

If I were advising someone who truly wanted to retain all of her names and who was OK with having a compound last name, I would advise her to hyphenate the last names.

Post # 3
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you hyphenate your two surnames will you both be taking the same name or will it just be you?

Depending on that and depending on if you want to have the same name as your FH will make a difference. If you want the same name as him but he wont take your name so they’re hypenated then have it as a second middle name. 

Post # 4
Member
4903 posts
Honey bee

I dropped my middle name, made my maiden name my middle name, and used DH’s surname. It wasn’t a super hard choice for me because most of the women in my family are very traditional. (Well, I’m not sure if it’s traditional everywhere, but I’m originally from TX, and it’s traditional there — or at least it was back when I got married.) Because it’s what my mom did and what pretty much all of my other female relatives did, I never even thought about different options.

A big plus is that I never much liked my middle name, so I was happy to drop it — LOL!

Post # 5
Member
673 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Ugh. I’m having the same issue. My sisters and I are the end of the line with our last names and my dad had all girls, so my last name has so much meaning to me. I also was named after someone I loved with my middle name, so that has meaning to me as well. I wish it were easy, because I really want to add my maiden name as a second middle. I don’t think he would take my last name, so that’s out of the question, plus he’s ALSO the end of his name. Why can’t I just make my name what I want it to be??? 🙁  Grrrrrr. 

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  FutureMrsKHBD.
Post # 8
Member
1530 posts
Bumble bee

I was given two middle names and it can be kind of a pain. All four of my names are on the longer side and I often don’t have enough space on forms and documents to add them all in. Also, the second middle name gets dropped or combined with the first and I have all sorts of documents with various combinations of my name. Ex: Sally Eleanor Vivienne Smith, Sally EV Smith, Sally Eleanor Smith, Sally Eleanorvivienne Smith, Sally Vivienne, Sally-Eleanor V. Smith … If I were you I would only keep what’s most important to you middle or maiden and assume your other name, but legally change it to a first middle and last. Just my experience 

Post # 9
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I moved my maiden name to a second middle name – like you, OP, my middle name is after a family member and has special meaning, so I didn’t want to just drop it, but I also didn’t want to drop my maiden name because it’s been part of my identity for so long.  So I’m now legally “First Middle Maiden Married”.  I’m not sure of the ease of having two un-hyphenated last names – since I didn’t choose that route, I’m not sure if it would be difficult to go through the name change process, but having two middle names was not hard and hasn’t caused me any problems in the 3 years since I got married.  I didn’t want to hyphenate my last names, just because I like having one unified family name (I wouldn’t give a hyphenated name to my kids), and it just seems like a mouth-full.

Post # 10
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I kept my middle name and maiden name (as a second middle) and the only issue that I’ve had is when there is only space for one middle initial… In which case I just use the first middle initial. I didn’t need to specify “first middle middle last” when I changed my name though.

Post # 11
Member
673 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

SadieBee:  AnonymousCupcake:  Oh this makes me feel better!!!! How exactly did you guys go about this??? This had always been my plan, but then I started seeing people have to go through a long, difficult process and I got afraid I wouldn’t have the time/money to do it. 

Post # 12
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

FutureMrsKHBD:  It wasn’t hard at all to do the name change, and if you do it soon after getting married it shouldn’t cost anything (the costly, difficult process is when you’re going for a legal name change separate from the process of getting married).  I’m not sure what the time limit is for changing your name after getting married, but you’ll just need to take your marriage certificate to the Social Security office, and then I believe take the documentation you get there to the license bureau (I’m pretty sure that was the process for me, but it may vary by state).  It’s a pain in the butt to go through the whole process of changing your name with everyone (work, school, banks, credit cards, utilities, phone, etc, etc), but it didn’t add any extra hassle having two middle names.  For most everything other than my driver’s license, I just go by my married last name (so my legal first and last name, no middle), and like AnonymousCupcake said, when I have to include a middle initial and it only allows for one, I just go with my original middle name.

Post # 13
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

I really want to keep all my names, and add his last name. Im either going to add my maiden as a second middle, OR move my original middle name to my first name. I am Amanda Jane, so that would just become my official first name, my maiden as my middle, and his last. The more I think about it, the more I like this second option. 

Post # 14
Member
673 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

SadieBee:  Omg. This relieves so much stress that I had about the name change. Thank you so much!!!!

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