Post # 1
Hello Hive! I’m in a quandary as to how many wedding invitations to order. Here’s the scoop:
My FI and I live 4000 miles away from where the wedding will take place. We have a fairly good-sized group of friends and coworkers here where we live, but I know for a fact (with the price of airfare!!) that they will all most likely NOT come to the wedding. However, we are going to return after the wedding and throw a second reception/party here with all of our friends/coworkers invited. These people would obviously get an invitation if the wedding were being held here…but I am wondering if I should even invited them since I know they wont come. Will it look like I am just fishing for wedding gifts? Or will they feel hurt if they don’t get an actual wedding invitation. They will all be getting invitations to the second reception.
Second question: If I DO send these people wedding invitations, do I go ahead and enclose the second reception invite also and just write a little note like “we realize the wedding is far away, if you can’t make it we hope to celebrate with you when we return on (date).
Thanks so much for your input!
Post # 3
Huh. that’s an interesting quandary. Would you be ok with them coming to both? Because that could happen if you do the second option..
Post # 4
Hulafish, I sort of had the same question – I currently live in Maryland, but am from NJ…. but I’m having my wedding in MD so that it’s a fun "destination" wedding for basically ALL of our guests. However, i do have a bunch of work friends who I have invited to the wedding… the issue was when my bridesmaids wanted to send out shower invitations and I didnt know whether or not to invited them because I knew they might not come and I didn’t want to look like I was fishing for gifts, but at the same time I disn’t want them to feel hurt by not getting an invitation. So I casually brought it up one day and to my surprise, one of the girls had been planning on attending and had already talked to an old college friend about meeting up that weekend as well.
In short, I think your idea of inserting a little note about realizing that they might not be able to make the wedding but you wanted to invite them anyway and hope to celebrate with them when you return is a great idea. That way the invitation is extended, no one’s feelings are hurt, and no one feels like they got conned into purchasing a gift to a wedding they can’t attend.
Post # 5
Hulafish, I would recommend sending them a wedding announcement, and not a wedding invitation.
Announcements normally are sent the day of or after the actual wedding to let your local friends know that you got married, and to inform them that they will be invited to a local reception so they don’t feel entirely left out. They usually go something like this:
Jane Doe was married to John Smith in an intimate ceremony on MMDDYY in XXX location.
We share our exciting news with you and look forward to celebrating with you at a location reception. Invitations will arrive soon.
If you’ve had time to actually plan the second reception, then definitely add the details. If you’re only focused on the primary wedding and plan on pulling details for the second reception later, then a general announcement will do.
Post # 6
Hmm, thanks for the suggestions ladies! Maybe I will go the "wedding announcement" route.
Amysue, at this point I have already accounted for the 2nd reception people to not come, so I have filled their wedding invite spots with B-listers. So, it would make it slightly more difficult if they came to both. 🙂
Post # 7
I like the announcement/reception invitation combo. We’re having a very small family/friends who are like family-only wedding. To celebrate with more of our community, we’re hosting a larger casual reception when we get back from the honeymoon. Since we’re getting married very close to where we live, we’re just letting people know when they ask that it’s family only, but we’ll have a special reception when we’re back. Though it just occured to me that we should probably send out invites before we leave… one more thing for the to-do list!