(Closed) Second thoughts about a big wedding

posted 4 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
9147 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Big wedding equals big stress.  Smaller wedding equals slightly less stress.  Eloping equals the least stress (except for the people who bitch about you eloping.)

I had a smaller wedding the first time around and definitely did not want a gigantic wedding for my second marriage either.  I liked being able to greet all 55 of my guests individually and take a picture with them.  They also respected me enough to let me eat my dinner (and two slices of cake!) in peace.  I couldn’t imagine the logistics of a 100+ guest wedding.  For my second wedding we are planning on 50-60 guests and couldn’t be happier about having a small, casual beach BBQ buffet with our closest family and friends.

Can you cut back at this point?  If so, I highly recommend it.

Post # 4
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

i love small intimate weddings because you get to enjoy the wedding and not spending half that time greating people and making small talk with guests who you dont know that well.

If you are having second thoughts, maybe you can reduce the guest list and choose the people who you really want there

Post # 5
Member
5015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I kind of feel the same way, but oh well. I originally wanted around 75 people in my parents back yard, but my mom did not want the stress of having the wedding at our house and my parents’ guest list had about 60 people. So we are having 120 at a beautiful hotel venue about 20 minutes from their house. We will still get married and it will still be wonderful. Unless you haven’t given any deposits or sent save-the-dates, etc. I would just make the best of it.

Post # 6
Member
5209 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@jdmk3l:  Absolutely. You start out so excited and a few months in you just want it to be over with. I’m not against big weddings by any means but they do take a toll on the couple and their families both emotionally and financially. Quarrels take place, friendships get tried. Really it’s not worth shedding tears and arguing with your FI or your parents over a party. It’s just not a good way to start out your lives together.

Tell your FI exactly how you feel. Maybe you can work out a compromise,

Post # 7
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

The best way is to talk honestly with your FI. Have you sat down and worked out a solution together? It could be that both of you are feeling the stress of wedding planning together. Don’t let yourself get roped into a big event that doesn’t feel right.

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