secret wedding, going anon for this. please help!

posted 2 years ago in Legal
Post # 2
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee

larena4800:  Congrats to you and your FI for doing what you want to do!  I don’t know about the tuition but the taxes will definitely be a sticky situation if you are legally married.  I’m pretty sure it might constitute fraud depending on who is claiming you on taxes.  Is there any way you could wait until you finish school to have the small secret ceremony?

Post # 3
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Orchid71:  +1, it will be a mess, your parents will most likely find out anyway (taxes, tuition/FAFSA, whatever).  It is hard to be legally bound to someone and hide it, especially when parents think they can claim you for taxes.  

Post # 4
Member
4831 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

larena4800:  Are you in the US? They can’t claim you once you are past 18. Unless you are talking about them putting some sort of tuition reimbursement on their taxes?? I don’t know about that. You will definitely file yourself and you’ll say married filing separately or jointly.

Post # 5
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m sorry I don’t have any legal advice for you with how getting married effects you being listed as their dependent for tax purposes (it might), but I just want to say I think this is a lovely idea! By doing it this way, you and your fiance take some control over (what should be) your special day. Then when you have the big family affair, you can just relax and enjoy, instead of feeling like your families forced you to do this. I know what it’s like to have family whose financial help you sometimes need to take, even though they hold it over you and use it as a means to control.

Post # 6
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

larena4800: you should talk to your accountant and attorney, but yes you will have to change your status when you marry. Also, you may be eligible for more aid after you marry, depending on your husband’s income. 

Your parents may also decide to stop paying for grad school after you’re married. how will that affect your ability to be in school and future financial picture?

not romantic but needs to be thought through. 

Post # 8
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Is there any reason the low key celebration can’t happen right before the big one?  Once you are married, I don’t see how your parents can claim you.  You have to file as married.

Post # 10
Member
3704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

larena4800:  I don’t blame you. We are having a surprise wedding for that very reason, I don’t want anybody meddling. It may be hard to keep the secret for a year, especially if some people will know and potentially make a comment or mention something around your family without realizing it. It might be easier to hold the secret ceremony closer to the big ceremony for that reason. 

As far as school goes, your tuition should not change, especially if your parents are paying outright for it and you aren’t getting any grants or loans that are need based. Your parents CANNOT however, claim you as a dependant if you are married.

Post # 11
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

larena4800:  You can only be claimed if you are married or the dependent child (up to age 24 if a full time student).

Post # 12
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes, it can cause trouble for your parents when they file. You’re long past the point (cultural infuences or not) where you need to be the one in control of your life–financially, socially and emotionally. If you’re not independant in these things–and right now, you’re not–then all of your choices in life will come with strings attached to them. 

Post # 13
Member
3704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

larena4800:  Your fiance can’t claim you as a dependant. 

I can see how getting around this issue with your parents might be a problem. They are paying your tuition and claiming you as a dependant and likely getting some great tax credits by doing so, so they’re not likely to just give up claiming you for no reason without any explanation.

Post # 14
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

larena4800:  Could you wait until the next tax season to do this, so it’ll fall in the same year you have your big symobolic ceremony, so they wouldn’t claim you as a dependant that year and it hopefully wouldn’t be an issue? I agree with PPs that you should do it closer to your big ceremony, so as to minimize potential issues AND the chance of your families finding out. Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
425 posts
Helper bee

I’d feel like a pretty huge jerk accepting money from my parents for grad school while going behind their back to get married. I’d strongly reconsider your decision which I’m sure both your parents would consider extremely hurtful. If you’re going through the big hooplah wedding next year anyway, why do this now and cause so many more complications for yourself? That said, this will be relevant for tax purposes:

http://www.irs.gov/uac/A-%E2%80%9CQualifying-Child%E2%80%9D

If you are under 24 and going to school full time, your parents can still claim you as a dependent. If you get married, they can still claim you as a dependent, if you “did not file a joint return for that year, unless the return is filed only as a claim for refund and no tax liability would exist for either spouse if they had filed separate returns.”

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