(Closed) Secretly bi?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1146 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Well, if my FI told me he wanted to experience A guy on guy encounter AFTER he was my DH I would be pretty upset and confused.

Post # 4
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @btau12:  first and foremost, I see this is your first post on WBee… so a BIG Welcome to “The Hive”

I am not one to judge… and say that what you want to do is “wrong”

When it comes to human sexuality, nothing is truly black and white, there really are a whole lot of grey tones…

What I will say tho, that is IF you and your Hubby are not on the same page, that bringing a 3rd Person into your relationship, can cause problems (certainly posts here on WBee… and elsewhere on the Internet, where folks have done these sorts of things and regretted it later cause it ruined “the trust” factor OR messed up the intimacy that comes from being exclusive)

IF this was to work at all… I’d suggest that you were communicating exceptionally well in your relationship with your Hubby, so there was no MISUNDERSTANDINGS about the situation beforehand… and having a clear plan for what would and wouldn’t be crossing the line for both of you (being aware that human nature is such that we “connect” thru sex… and what would happen IF you suddenly found yourself IN LOVE with another person, who wasn’t your Hubby)

Lots to think about, IMO

 

Post # 5
Member
6022 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

It’s not wrong. It is tricky though since you are married to someone and he doesn’t have any idea of your feelings. I think it’s always best to be honest and work through it together. Ya never know, he may be willing to experiment or allow you to experiment. Be prepared for any reaction though and have an open mind and heart. There is such a gray area when it comes to sexual attraction. You feel how you feel and there is no right or wrong way to feel when it comes to this. But you do have to remain respectful and honest to your relationship, so with that in mind, I think some major communication needs to happen.

Post # 6
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@btau12:  have you brought this up to him? would you be willing to include him, like a 3 way? quite a few men would be very open to a 3 way with another woman, especially if it was a one time thing.

Post # 7
Member
2420 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@fingerscrossed:  +1

That would be the only way I would want to experience being with a woman and SO has made it clear that if I ever want to try it, he would ok with us sharing the experience.

I would suggest talking to him about it and see what he says.

Post # 8
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think it’s wrong.  You should open up to your FI though.  Toy around with an idea of a threesome and see what he thinks.  It could be a really fun experience for the two of you!

Post # 9
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Canal St Inn

It’s definitely not wrong. I think you’ve already received some great advice here, communication is going to be very important. I think a good way to get the conversation started would be just telling him that you have an attraction to women (if he doesn’t know) and taking it slowly from there.

Post # 10
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@btau12:  desire to have this encounter? no, it’s not wrong. Acting on this desire? If your fI wouldn’t be ok with it then yes it’s wrong.

I feel like it’s normal for women to be more curious then men, and many women do experiment in their early 20’s. 

Post # 11
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’ve also been curious about an encounter with another girl.  I have been very open about this with my FI and he is okay with it.  We have discussed a threesome with another girl and him watching me with another girl.  He is okay with both scenarios, but our problem is finding the right girl.  If we do it, we want to make sure we find someone we both will enjoy 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@btau12:  Are you talking about an encounter by yourself or including your FI?

 

@ChelseaLuv:  Have you thought about any of the negatives if you go through with it? 

Post # 14
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My DH would let me do anything I wanted with another woman as long as he was involved- even if that means watching…

lol

but I never would.

Its ok to have fantsys !

Post # 15
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Ill Be Mrs B:  We have.  We’ve talked about every possible scenario and what the consequences could be.  I think in this situation, the positives would definitely outweigh any negatives if they do exist 🙂

Post # 16
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think so.  As long as it works with your relationship, why should it “be wrong”?

I would hope that you wouldn’t blindside your SO, it should probably be one of those things that you’re open about.

 

 

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