Post # 1
Ladies – most of us have secrets. What would you keep from your fiance and make sure he never finds out? Suppose you love him and it will ruin rather than build your relationship, is it worth keeping some secrets from him? I say yes – chances are he is keeping some things from you too!
Post # 3
Nope, sorry, I feel the opposite. I think that if you love someone enough to spend the rest of your life with them, then there should be no secrets. If something that comes out will ruin a relationship than it is not the right relationship. I would be so pissed if something came out later, after marriage, that would have meant that I would not have married. I would be so much more pissed if I found out that I had a relationship that had been built on a lie and would totally feel that I had been tricked and duped. I would feel humiliated.
Post # 4
We have no secrets. I am dead serious. I have told my Fiance about all my past relationships in detail and he has done the same.
Post # 5
I don’t feel like I have “secrets” from Fiance necessarily. There are things in both of our pasts that we’ve not shared with each other because it really doesn’t matter. Things like how many previous partners and such. It’s honestly something I don’t want to know about Fiance and don’t feel that he needs to know about me.
With things in present day to day life, I don’t hide anything from him. No secrets/no lies. But again, I don’t feel the need to share every detail of every day with him.
Post # 6
We don’t have any secrets.. and really the things that were hard/hurt the other have helped us grow in our communication and be understanding to have a safe place for one another to come… I mean if we can’t come to each other and know that we have support no matter what than I wouldn’t feel very confident in sticking it through with him (that’s just me)
Post # 7
I agree somewhat with SuperBrook. He doesn’t have to know every single detail of my past life. I think that I am entitled to some privacy and space that is mine alone and no one elses. I had a past relationship that I spilled all the beans and my then boyfriend would use my secrets to hurt me. The relationship ended, but I made up my mind to keep certain private details to myself. Especially if they don’t help or hurt my relationship with my current Fiance. I love him, he loves me, but I am entitled to my space and domain that is mine and no one elses. And I wouldn’t wanna hear about my past mistakes in every arguement that we have!
Post # 8
@samora I can understand that… I’m thankful that my Fiance and I aren’t like that… he’s never used something from my past & I don’t bring up things that he’s told me, so we’ve been/are able to be as open as we are.
Post # 9
My Fiance knows EVERYTHING because it has shaped who I am and so if I react a certain way to something he knows why.
Post # 10
No. No no no. I don’t agree. Honesty is what keeps trust alive and a relationship is built on trust.
Post # 11
I voted for the last option.
Fiance knows all the details that no one else knows about my past relationships. I told him early on, in part because I wanted him to know my flaws, and to see that he could love me despite my flaws.
I don’t necessarily think he’s entitled to know. I just want him to know me.
Post # 12
I dont’ think it’s a question of being honest – just choosing to share certain things.
If asked, I would tell him. But I’m not going to go out of my way and tell him things that could quite possibly hurt him – especially if it pertained to my past relationships or sexual things with other people.