Post # 1
My FI and I hired an interfaith/secular minister that is not associated with any church to perform our marriage ceremony. We obviously like this individual and plan on tipping her (on top of the fee to hire her) on the day of the ceremony. Are we also obligated to invite her for dinner? I know that is fairly customary when you are married in your church by your family’s pastor, priest, etc., but our situation is quite different from that.
Post # 3
I am also having this issue… Im unsure of what to do as well.
I asked my Mom about it and she said that since this person is not a family friend/friend at all or even someone we know personally…. that we are not obligated to invite her to the reception.
But of course it is a nice gesture even if he/she doesn’t come.
I am still unsure with what we are going to do… still thinking about it….
Post # 4
We’re being married by a JOP and did invite him to our reception. I think it’s polite to extend the invitation. Most of the time these kinds of officiants will politely decline. I think it’s best to offer the invitaiton.
Post # 5
I often get invited to rehearsal dinners (especiall if I’m running the rehearsal), and the occasional wedding reception, but I very rarely stay. It’s always SO nice to be invited and, honestly, it’s the thought that counts here – I totally appreciate it, but as I don’t know anyone at the wedding except the bride and groom, I don’t usually attend. Occasionally, I’ll stay for part of cocktail hour, but that’s about the extent 🙂 I hope this helps! I think, if you like your officiant, inviting them is a very nice gesture, but they probably won’t come.
Post # 6
Thanks Jessieblum! I found that very helpful!!
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
Personally I would 100% invite them to the dinner. They will suddenly become a major player in your marriage, and I think it’s nice to have another chance to connect with them!
Post # 8
Thank you all for such helpful input! Especially jessieblum, it is great to have the "insiders" opinion!
Post # 9
Thank you for writing this post! My FI and I have the same situation but I hadn’t even thought about inviting our officiant. I am glad I saw this because I will be sure to invite them now.