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These are the two that we used. They're probably not right for most people but they were picked by our readers and suited them perfectly.
My aunt loves rocks, originally read this poem at my cousin's wedding, my cousin read it at hers and then my aunt read it at mine as well. It's a bit of a family tradition now. :-)
Fidelity by D.H. Lawrence
Man and woman are like the earth, that brings forth flowers
in summer, and love, but underneath is rock.
Older than flowers, older than ferns, older than foraminiferae,
older than plasm altogether is the soul underneath.
And when, throughout all the wild chaos of love
slowly a gem forms, in the ancient, once-more-molten rocks
of two human hearts, two ancient rocks,
a man's heart and a woman's,
that is the crystal of peace, the slow hard jewel of trust,
the sapphire of fidelity.
The gem of mutual peace emerging from the wild chaos of love.
Jed's aunt is pretty much Polish even though she was born in the US and picked this one. She read it in Polish first then in English.
Love by Czeslaw Milosz
Love means to learn to look at yourself
The way one looks at distant things
For you are only one thing among many.
And whoever sees that way heals his heart,
Without knowing it, from various ills—
A bird and a tree say to him: Friend.
Then he wants to use himself and things
So that they stand in the glow of ripeness.
It doesn’t matter whether he knows what he serves:
Who serves best doesn’t always understand.
@elizabeth.blankenhorn: That is my favorite passage from The Little Prince. I love that book.
@caitlanc: I love DH Lawrence, been thinking about having "Fidelity" at our wedding, provided i can find someone who's not afraid of saying "foraminiferae" in public :)
This is one i've loved for years, by Seamus Heaney:
Masons, when they start upon a building,
Are careful to test out the scaffolding;
Make sure that planks won’t slip at busy points,
Secure all ladders, tighten bolted joints.
And yet all this comes down when the job’s done
Showing off walls of sure and solid stone.
So if, my dear, there sometimes seem to be
Old bridges breaking between you and me
Never fear. We may let the scaffolds fall
Confident that we have built our wall.
Report: I haven't done a full recap yet (pro picks won't be here for 7 more weeks! Agh!), but I'll report here first that both of my readings (Goodrich and the Velveteen Rabbit) were big hits. I heard the most about Velveteen, but was happiest with Goodrich. My conservative father said later that though he disagrees with me on same-sex marriage, he thought the reading was tasteful, not too in your face, but expressed our views well. High praise, IMO.
@stacyk556789: "I carry your heart" was quoted in a tv show, and it is going to drive me mad as I can't recall what it is.
Here is our non-secular reading :)
from the awakened heart:
The Awakened Heart
“There is a desire within each of us, in the deep center of ourselves
that we call our heart. We were born with it, it is never completely
satisfied, and it never dies. We are often unaware of it, but it is
always awake. It is the human desire for love. Every person in this
earth yearns to love, to be loved, to know love. Our true identity,
our reason for being, is to be found in this desire...
...love is the ‘why’ of life: why we are functioning at all, what we
want to be efficient for... I am convinced it [love] is the
fundamental energy of the human spirit, the fuel on which we run, the
wellspring of our vitality. And grace, which is the flowing, creative
activity of love itself, is what makes all goodness possible.
Love should come first; it should be the beginning of and the reason
for everything.”
-- Gerald May
@awakemysoul: It was ER. When luca married abby in the surprise wedding and she had no time to prepare, she did that poem as her vows. I am a dork. :)
@CorgiTales: You are wonderful! I watched all of ER last year. Though now part of me thinks that Anya in Buffy may have said part of it too ... but the internet isn't answering my questions.
Ummm love the Sex & the City Poem and I Carry Your Heart with me
We're doing the lyrics to "I want to grow with you" from the Wedding Singer as a reading:
"I wanna make you smile
Whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All i wanna do, is grow old with you
I'll get you medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
So, it could be so nice growing old with you
I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you
Feed you
Even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink
Oh I could be the man that grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you"
My favorite reading right now is the section On Marriage from "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran:
"But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."
@awakemysoul: it was season 2 or 3 between angel and Buffy, he is talking about protecting her heart, and covering it with his own, and she says something to the effect of "that was beautiful, although taken literally incredibly gross"
I love all of these! I am really glad we chose what we did, but some of these make me want to call mu DH at work right now and read them to him.
Here are the lyrics to a Postal Service Song and a TV on the Radio sond that use to play when I first met my mister
Brand New Colony by the Postal Service
I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit
Like a perfect gentlemen
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
Where you will sit and contemplate your day
I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zippedstraight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold
I want to take you far from the cynics int his town
And kiss you on the mouth
We'll cut out bodies free from the tethers of this scene,
Start a brand new colony
Where everything will change,
We'll give ourselves new names (identities erased)
The sun will hear the grounds
Under our bare feet in this brand new colony
Everything will change, oOo oOo...
Ambulance by Tv on the Radio (Just the Chorus)
oh i will be your accident
if you will be my ambulance
i will be your screech and crash if you will be my crutch and cast
i will be your one more time if you will be my one last chance
so fall for me, fall fast, fall free, fall with me
@AlmostMrsHeath: This is so simple, perfect and fitting for us. It's pleasent It's lovely..I will share with DF
"Marriage is a commitment to life, the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other relationship can equal. It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.
Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life's most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other's best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic. And there may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent for a child.
Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.
Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life.
When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfill."
-(Marriage Joins Two People In The Circle Of Its Love-Edmund O'Neill)
and
Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
(Apache Wedding Blessing)
I am so excited to read all of these great suggestions. I have been pouring over the "wedding reading" books, but none have really hit, and there are so many here that I think would be just perfect for our wedding. Thanks so much to everyone who posted!
Any other suggestions? We are starting to look for our readings now.
@lilyfaith: I had never read "The Union" but thanks for posting! Really like it :)
We are using this one:
From the Beyond Words Daily Readings in the ABC's of Faith by Frederick Buechner
“They say they will love, comfort, honor each other to the end of their days. They say they will cherish each other and be faithful to each other always. They say they will do these things not just when they feel like it, but even -- for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health -- when they don’t feel like it at all. In other words, the vows they make could hardly be more extravagant. They give away their freedom. They take on themselves each other’s burdens. They bind their live s together... The question is, what do they get in return?
They get each other in return... There will always be the other to talk to, to listen to... There is still someone to get through the night with, to wake into the new day beside. They can give their children, as well as each other, roots and wings.
They both still have their lives apart as well as a life together. They both still have their separate ways to find. But a marriage made in heaven is one where a man and a woman become more richly themselves together than the chances are either of them could ever have managed to become alone.”
My sister read this at our wedding; it was the only time during the ceremony that my husband & I got choked up!
Married Love by Kuan Tao-sheng
You and I have so much love
That it burns like a fire,
In which we bake a lump of clay
Molded into a figure of you
And a figure of me.
The we take both of them
And break them into pieces,
And mix the pieces with water,
And mold again a figure of you,
And a figure of me.
I am in your clay.
You are in my clay.
In life we share a single quilt.
In death we will share one bed.
THANK you bee's for posting these! They will help me decide what readings to do at my wedding!
I love the velveteen rabbit excerpt!
Here are some more-- hope they haven't been posetd already:
"Hope Is The Thing With Feathers" by Emily Dickinson
Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That could abash the little bird That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chilliest land, And on the strangest sea; Yet, never, in extremity It asked a crumb of me.
We used Marriage is a Promise of Love by Edmund O'Neill and What is Real from Margery Williams' The Velveteen Rabbit.
ETA: Text for both are already on this thread
This is a pretty common one, so I'm surprised no one has posted it! We're definitely going to have this one at our wedding, because it's just so perfect.
Wilferd Peterson – The Art of Marriage
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.
In the art of marriage the little things are the big things...
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude
of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation
and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.
I know I've seen this one on WB before, but I'll post it here too.
To Love is Not to Possess
James Kavanaugh
To love is not to possess,
To own or imprison,
Nor to lose one's self in another.
Love is to join and separate,
To walk alone and together,
To find a laughing freedom
That lonely isolation does not permit.
It is finally to be able
To be who we really are
No longer clinging in childish dependency
Nor docilely living separate lives in silence,
It is to be perfectly one's self
And perfectly joined in permanent commitment
To another–and to one's inner self.
Love only endures when it moves like waves,
Receding and returning gently or passionately,
Or moving lovingly like the tide
In the moon's own predictable harmony,
Because finally, despite a child's scars
Or an adult's deepest wounds,
They are openly free to be
Who they really are–and always secretly were,
In the very core of their being
Where true and lasting love can alone abide.
Thanks ladies! Good stuff. So glad I found this thread...I was racking my brain trying to figure out what kind of content we'd be able to have for a secular wedding!
LOL we used about 3 of the ones already posted!
But we also did the hands one: - Gets me teary re-reading it!
These are the hands of your best friend,
strong and full of love for you,
that are holding yours on your wedding day,
as you promise to love each other today and from this day forward.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours,
as together you build your future and realise your dreams.
These are the hands that will love you and cherish you through the years,
and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.
These are the hands that will wipe the tears from your eyes;
Be they tears of sorrow or tears of joy.
These are the hands that will guide your children,
the hands that will help you to blend and hold your family as one.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged,
will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness
with just a touch.
Our favorite description of love is from the movie Captain Corelli's Mandolin:
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine
This passage from Paul and Virginia by Bernardin St. Pierre made me tear up and would be a beautiful reading (or maybe vows?):
"When I am wearied, the sight of you refreshes me. If from the summit of the mountain I perceive you below in the valley, you appear to me in the midst of our orchard like a blooming rose-bud. If you go towards our mothers' house, the partridge, when it runs to meet its young, has a shape less beautiful, and a step less light. When I lose sight of you through the trees, I have no need to see you in order to find you again. Something of you, I know not how, remains for me in the air through which you have passed, on the grass where you have een seated. When I come near you, you delight all my senses. The azure of the sky is less charming than the blue of your eyes, and the song of the amadavid bird less soft than the sound of your voice. If I only touch you with the tip of my finger, my whole frame trembles with pleasure. Do you remember the day when we crossed over the great stones of the river of the Three Breasts? I was very tired before we reached the bank: but, as soon as I had taken you in my arms, I seemed to have wings like a bird..."
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