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Secular Vows

posted 2 years ago in Secular
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    1.
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    Buzzing bee
    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    Hey secular Bees!

    Eek! We're getting close to the wedding, so I need to start thinking about vows. FI and I have decided we would like our officiant to read the vows, and we will respond with "I do." Neither of us are particularly sentimental so something that is just true and plain spoken is best. I've been playing around with traditional vows, and this is my first draft (from me, he will reverse):

    "______, will you take ______ to be your husband and equal partner? Do you commit yourself to his happiness and trust him with yours? Do you promise to love, honor, and sustain him in sickness and in health, in adversity and prosperity, and to be true and loyal to him for all the days of your life?"

    Here are my thoughts:

    - I must include equal partner in the vows, but it feels a tad awkward where it is.

    - I'm not sure I really mean "happiness." I'm thinking more well-being in an Aristotelian sense (fullfillment, character, completeness, etc.). But I super want to avoid anything even vaguely new-agey (not us at all). I want a phrase for saying that I commit myself to making his life as fullfilling, joyous, and complete as possible. Any help?

    - Better word for honor? Respect?

     

    Thanks for your thoughts, and feel free to post your secular vows!

     
    2.
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    Sugar bee
    meliss    May 31, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    Our officiant wrote our wows as :

    "I, M_, take you M_, to be my wife.  I promise in the presence of God, and our family and friends, to be your loving and faithful wife, as long as our lives shall last.  I will love you and honor you, with tenderness and respect, and I will cherish you from this day forward for all our wedded days.  All that I am, I give you, and all that I have, I share with you.  Whatever the future holds, I will love you and stand by you.  This is my solemn vow."

    I was also very particular about having a secular ceremony so I asked him to remove the phrase in bold and he did. I was a little nervous about asking a pastor to remove god references but he was very nice about it.

     
    3.
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    Sugar bee
    Melissabegins    December 12, 2009  

    I PM'ed you.. it feels weird to put my vows on here! haha.

    I like your word choices.. but i'd play around with how you use them. partner can be partnership, etc.

     
    4.
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    Buzzing bee
    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    Thanks Melissabegins! I really like the fact that you said "we do."

     
    5.
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    Sugar bee
    rachaelrobin    January 16, 2011   Philadelphia

    We haven't gotten this far yet in the planning process, but I really like your first draft. When I read happiness, the connotation to me was def. "fullfillment, character, completeness" but I'm not new age-y at all either.

     
    6.
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    Sugar bee
    Melissabegins    December 12, 2009  

    Thanks! and i just noticed that i sent you an older version --- at the end, it looked like just J was repeating things over and over. Woops! haha. We both did, obviously.

    When you come up with your final draft i'd love to hear it. i referenced Mrs Cherry Pie's vows from here, mixed with things that I got from close friends.

     
    7.
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    Blushing bee
    hsaas91    August 5, 2015  

    We haven't decided, but one of the favorites as we've been perusing is:

    I ­______, take you _____, to be my husband/wife, and in doing so, commit my life to you, encompassing all sorrows and joys, all hardships and triumphs, all the experiences of life; a commitment made in love, kept in faith, lived in hope, and eternally made new.

     
    8.
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    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    Miss Seaman    June 22, 2011   San Antonio, TX

    So in my way too early wedding planning, I was worried about having to write vows, so I ventured off to see what I could find.

     

    I *really* like these:

    Vows

    _____ take _____ 's right hand and repeat after me.

    _____, I choose you to be my wife.
    I promise freely from this day forward
    To be worthy of your trust and deserving of your confidence;
    To be generous with my time, my energy and my love;
    To be patient with you and with myself,
    To return love, tolerance, and generosity to your family.
    To trust you;
    To be devoted to you and our life together.
    These things I pledge before you, myself, our friends, and our family.

    _____ take _____ 's right hand and repeat after me.

     _____, I choose you to be my husband.
    I promise freely from this day forward
    To be worthy of your trust and deserving of your confidence;
    To be generous with my time, my energy and my love;
    To be patient with you and with myself,
    To return love, tolerance, and generosity to your family.
    To trust you;
    To be devoted to you and our life together.
    These things I pledge before you, myself, our friends, and our family.

    Ring Vows

    What pledge do you offer in symbol of these vows?
    Answer: "These rings"

    Minister takes the rings and gives them to _____ and _____, then minister places hand over the rings, the hands of _____ and _____, and gives a blessing:

    "May these rings remind us well of our vows to each other."

    _____, I give you this ring to wear upon your hand as a symbol of our unity, love, respect and trust.

    _____, I give you this ring to wear upon your hand as a symbol of our unity, love, respect and trust.

     

    I'm probably going to take out the minister blessing part, but hey, I thought these were a great start.

     
    9.
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    Honey bee
    Jenn23    April 17, 2010   Philly suburbs

    Here's ours! We did the hand ceremony first, then these vows. I love them. :)

     

    Vows

    Love is a living thing, waiting within each of us for an awakening touch. In this ceremony, which we will celebrate, love comes to life for ______ and ______. May this love grow sure, tender and strong.

     

    Do you _____, take ______ as she is and ask that she be no one but herself? Do you love what you know about her and trust what you have yet to learn? Do you respect her and take her in laughter and in tears, in weakness and in strength, in success and in failure, in doubt and in trust as your wife, your equal, your lover, your friend?

     

    ______: “I Do“

     

    Do you _______, take _______ as he is and ask that he be no one but himself? Do you love what you know about him and trust what you have yet to learn? Do you respect him and take him in laughter and in tears, in weakness and in strength, in success and in failure, in doubt and in trust as your husband, your equal, your lover, your friend?

     

    ________: “I Do“

     
    10.
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    2,217 posts
    Buzzing bee
    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    Thanks Bees! You've given me a lot to think about.

    BTW, getting my license on Tuesday. Eek!

     
    11.
    Member
    630 posts
    Busy bee
    serasvictoria    August 7, 2010  

    Here are our vows:

    I A, take you A to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

     

    I got it off the Internet somewhere, but the FI made the ultimate decision (even over my hand written ones). :-)

     
    12.
    Member
    5 posts
    Newbee
    Ettalaine    November 16, 2012   Illinois

    Someone mentioned the Hand Ceremony.  Anyone have a copy of that I can *cough* borrow? 

     

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