Secular wedding, Religious family.

posted 2 years ago in Secular
Post # 2
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I come from a super religious family & my mom was very disappointed we had opted for a secular wedding. However, come the day of our wedding, our service was perfect – thoughtful, sweet, touching & even a little tear-jerking and in the end, she admitted that it was the right choice for us.

Do not stress about it. Carry on as you like and just do not go out of your way to discuss those particulars with your family. As long as you are respectful of them and do not make a mockery of their beliefs at your wedding, I expect you will find that in the end all will be well. 🙂

Post # 3
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I empathize — NH and I come from religious families, and we knew our wedding would shock them.  Well, they got over it!  It’s possible there were naysayers who gossiped about it, but you know what — it was OUR wedding!  And it’s our marriage, and we’re happy that the ceremony reflected us and served as the introduction to our marriage.  We chose to have a ceremony that was true to us and let everyone else freak out about it if they wished.  Six months later and I still haven’t heard any nasty comments about it.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

 

Pasithea:  My DH and I are completely non religious and we opted for a ceremony with an officiant.  Along with the officiant, we created a wonderful ceremony that was a true representation of my DH and I.  I refused to give into family pressure about making MY wedding ceremony a religious affair.  I mean, if I am saying my vows…. should they come from an honest place??????

 

 

Post # 5
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think you’ll be fine.  My cousin, who was raised very Cathloic, had a very non-religious ceremony at a distillerty.  It was fine and I didn’t hear anyone question it.

Post # 6
Member
4072 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I am an atheist, though I was raised a Christian and come from an incredibly conservative religious family on my mother’s side. Despite pressure from my mother (who actually attempted to go behind my back to have a pastor preside over the ceremony), I wanted to stay true to us as a couple and have a secular ceremony. I even refused my mother’s pleads to say grace over the meal. 

And you know what? Our wedding was awesome. My mother loved our ceremony. We did include a ring warming which allowed guests to pass around our rings during the ceremony and say a silent prayer or well wishes for us. I loved this because it gave the religious family members a chance to bless us in their way without imposing upon us or other guests. This was my mother’s favorite part of the whole day.

I do have a recap where I talk more about our wedding if you want to look. But know that you’re not alone and it doesn’t have to be doom and gloom! I was certain I’d hear negativity from some of the aunts, and while one did give us lots of godly marriage advice, nothing was offensive or rude. I hope the same for you!

Post # 8
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Pasithea:  No advice.  Just came by to say that I feel your pain, lol. 

Post # 11
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee

I dont remember who told me this, but it’s not so much what is said that people notice, but the order in which it is said. So if your ceremony goes in the order people are used to but there’s no mention of God or Jesus… I think you’ll be good to go!  You’ll say  your vows and if your officiant is whitty/entertaining everyone will remember how lovely it is instead of the lack of Godliness.

Post # 14
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t think you can fault your dad too much for saying he wishes you were more religious, it’s just how he feels. He loves you and he’s worried you won’t get into Heaven.

None of the religious people in my family really cared that I had a secular ceremony, and I think everyone thought what we did was lovely. My husband and I weren’t into the idea of ring warming, but we had our officiant ask everyone to pause for a moment for prayers, well wishes, and good vibes. 

Post # 15
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Pasithea:  Yeah, I’m a pro at keeping my non-belief to myself, and not just around family.  As a black American it’s pretty much assumed by other black people that you are Christian.  Admitting to being a humanist/freethinker is akin to saying you worship the devil. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors