(Closed) Secular/Catholic Ceremony – Help!

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I’m not sure what would keep the judge from saying that, if you ask him.  (But I really don’t know anything about this scenario.)

I’m a little confused when you say,”Having grown up Catholic the traditional vows are important to us and we plan to use them.”  Of course if you don’t want to discuss your religious views, no problem.  But if you don’t intend on honoring traditional Catholic vows, by being Catholic, I would think you just shouldn’t use them. 

Perhaps you appreciate the “feel” of Catholic ceremonies?  I suppose you could add the feel.  But just to be sure, if you aren’t getting married (or convalidated) by a Catholic priest, you be seen as married in the eyes of the Catholic Church.

Post # 6
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

My feeling is, because a judge is marrying you, doesn’t mean God’s out of your union, so there would be nothing wrong with saying “What God has joined together, let no man divide”.

We didn’t have contact with our officiant before the ceremony, so we had no say in what he would say. However, we had my dad prepare his own reading to include in the ceremony, including many bible teachings for our marriage. That way, the judge marrying us could do his thing, but the ceremony was still very spiritual and personal.

Post # 8
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Ilike eqb’s suggestion.

I’m in a similar situation…raised Catholic and attended Catholic school (well, for my freshman year at least) but have since realized the church is just not right for me. My fiance is athiest and so we have decided to be married by a very wonderful friend of ours and the ceremony will not have any direct references to God. I don’t like that to some people this means God is not a part of the ceremony. Religion and spirituality are deeply personal, and I hope that God will be looking down over us on that day and will give us a blessing even if we don’t give him any direct shout-outs ๐Ÿ˜‰ If He’s that petty, I think we are probably all screwed!

If you are very attached to Catholic wedding vows, don’t feel like it’s inappropriate to use them or tweak them to suit you best. Just because you and your FI are a little undecided at the moment, that shouldn’t make or break what your vows can be. If you were somehow being dishonest, like saying the vows just to please family or something that would be a different issue but it doesn’t sound that way at all from your post. Your relationship with God is nobody’s business but your own! ๐Ÿ™‚ Good luck.

Post # 9
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I also want to add, that referring to God in your vows is not exclusive to the Catholic Church… You should not feel bad – doubting the church doesn’t mean you doubt God.

Post # 11
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Awesome, glad things worked out. And Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

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