Secular/Non-Religous Pre-Marital Counseling Book Suggestions

posted 3 years ago in Secular
Post # 4
Member
1504 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@BlueBelle0927:  I would recomend these.

 

You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married: Love-Based Solutions for Couples. By Brett R. Williams.

 

Trading Places: The Best Move You’ll Ever Make in Your Marriage. By:Les Parrott III

 

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. By: John M. Gottman

Post # 5
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Commenting to follow 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

@BlueBelle0927:  I’m having the same problem as you, except that we are definitely atheists, lol. I’m sorry I don’t actually have books to offer yet, I hope you don’t mind if I share my experience and stick around to see others’ suggestions.

One of my best friends recently got married, and she and her FI did go to counselling at an Anglican church, despite being non-religious. (I mention that it’s Anglican specifically because my friend insistes that this denomination is particularly “secular,” I have no idea if this is true). She had only good things to say about it to me, and strongly reccomended the experience. She said that it was extremely practical discussions and advice with hardly any mention of god/religion ata all. I think I would be okay with that… FI and I are super poor students so there’s no way we are affording any other type of counselling :/

So for that reason we are actually seriously considering getting counselling with an Anglican church. I just have to figure out if I can resolve my conflicted feelings enough to go through with it!

 

Post # 9
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@BlueBelle0927:  I absolutely agree with your first paragraph! That’s exactly how I feel. (I considered Unitarian too, lol). We are looking for advice about very concrete things we can do to maintain the health of our relationship.

I’m so sorry about your mothers! 🙁 Best of luck to you both. If I were you I would at least do those three sessions covered by your work, they might be able to point you to further resources so you can keep going on your own.

 

Post # 11
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

SO and I are reading “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts”. It’s pretty damn good. There are also accompanying workbooks (one for men & one for women). The idea is that you read the chapters, work on your individual workbooks and then discuss. 

Post # 12
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I hear the five love languages is a good read…

Post # 14
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

 

His Needs Her Needs by Willard Harley Jr.

 

Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts by Parrott

 

My FI and I read these books and they were incredibly helpful! They opened our eyes to learning what eachother needs in a relationship. Absolutely amazing how insightful and right on they both were! I think that His Needs Her Needs might mention God, but it definitely focuses on your relationship. 

ETA: Sorry, just saw that you didn’t really like the five love languages lol. Still a lot of good points in it:)

Post # 15
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@BlueBelle0927:  Yeah, my SO is the same way. It’s good to be able to really reflect on it yourself. The plan is to do a chapter a week and discuss on date night. 

Post # 16
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m not a fan of these types of things, but our officiants recommend the Five Love Languages. Bonus: you can take the test for free on the website. I see you said that you didn’t like it, but we’re both Agnostic and not once is God mentioned in the quiz or the results. Then again, I never read the book.

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