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im seeing FI pre ceremony. my photographer convinced me to do it, and she said it's probably the most intimate/romantic part of the day, since no one is around.
that, and i know my FI isn't one to show deep emotion in public, so this is better for us. :) (and with sunset timing, its so much easier to get the pics out of the way!) :)
Good luck!
I'm waiting til I walk donw the isle, I actually turned down a few churches because some of them wouldn't let us take photos after the ceremony for some reason.
Of course if I were having such a short reception then I think I would have to rethink as it is a short time to do all you have to do at the party. I'm so in to photos that not rushing them would be really important to me as well, after all - when all is said and done, all you will have left of that day once it's over is the photos and your memories - so I'd take time to take those pictures. I think that the day is going to be really special no matter when first see him.
Make it apoint to present yourself to him in a grand way maybe. It might help give you what you;ve dreamed of and still leave you the time to do everything.
We saw each other before the ceremony and I'm really glad we did. We were both nervous, so this helped calm our nerves, my FI is also a private person, so this was better for him, as we got the "sappy emotional feelings" out in private (and our photog, hee hee), and I think (I know at least I) was able to be more present and enjoy the ceremony more bc I didn't have any jitters. And of course getting photos out of the way was great too, although we did do a few minutes of photos after the ceremony, bc I knew we would be more relaxed and it would show in the photos. I'm definitely in the "before the ceremony" camp. Good luck!
I have a question - is it just bad luck for him to see you in your wedding dress etc that day? i really wanted to go to braekfast with him. The ceremony is 7pm...thoughts?
My fiance and I also really struggled with this decison and after attending a few weddings where we had to wait forever for the bride and groom to take pics, we decided that we would defnitley see e/o other b4 the wedding, We are having so many out of town guests and so much family and friends we never get to see, we really want to enjoy our day and not worry about getting good pics, I think our mothers will be alittle horrified since we are already doing so many "unvonventional things", but oh well
I always thought that we would wait until the moment I walked down the aisle, but several factors changed that. Logistically and financially, it made more sense for us to be in the same big honkin' SUV limo with each other and the whole bridal party, rather than try to split up. Our photog is very experienced at the whole coordinating your "special moment" to see each other. She was on the phone w/ her asst. photog. and they coordinated a secluded place and we met in a beautiful courtyard. The pictures are priceless -- one photog caught the view from behind, and the other from the front. My hubs faced away from me, and I tapped him on the shoulder, and that was the moment we first saw each others' faces. (My MOH used the same photog, so I knew how this all worked, so I felt much more comfortable about it than I would've otherwise.)
This way we were able to take care of a lot of the bride/groom pix and the bridal party pix before we even got to the ceremony. After the ceremony, we did take SOME pix, but it was very quick and efficient. We weren't really into the posed pix anyway, so we only needed a very few.
Also, RE the breakfast thing: I think it's a great idea. We spent the night before together (I freak out if I have to sleep alone in a strange place), and had breakfast w/ one of our OOT friends. It was very nice and relaxing (except for my dad calling to say it was raining where the wedding was, argh!), and then we parted ways, so he never saw me in my dress until our "moment."
I'm all for doing whatever makes you most relaxed and unstressed. If it calms you to hang w/ your guy until you start primping, do it!
I'm new!! But I have just been discussing this with my fiance' and my mom. I had always envisioned myself seeing him for the first time in the public moment, at the top of the aisle. I decided to go with this and schedule picture time afterward, during cocktail hour. My mom really urged me as well. She said that the moment my dad saw her at the top of the aisle and the look on his face were priceless. She told me that she wouldn't trade anything in the world for that moment. One of my friends scheduled it before the ceremony, and while it moved her short wedding along, it felt awkward and strange when they saw each other. I'm sure it could have been executed better, but I feel as a guest that I would rather see that moment then have a shorter cocktail hour.
one old tradition i came across while thinking about this "taboo" of seeing each other outside the church is that back in the day in european towns, the groom (and I'm assuming his family too) would walk to the bride's house, gather her & her family, and they'd all walk through town to the church together in a big bridal parade, friends and family joining them along the way. i think its really romantic & charming especially if walking is an option, and we are planning on incorporating this into our day (although replace "house" with "hotel")since we are getting married in a very walkable/historic part of the city. everyone can be part of the processional to the church, getting excited/ photos along the way in the sunshine. still havent decided on the "exact moment" we will see each other, tho.
I'll probably see my guy when I walk down the aisle. But it's going to be hard. We live together and I'm so used to seeing him ALL THE TIME. It's hard enough dress shopping without him (though I'm sure he's happy that he's not being dragged along from store to store). The only traditional thing at my wedding will be the fact that he won't see me in my dress until I walk down the aisle. :)
I will be having our photos of my groom and I pre-ceremony. I have arranged a private meeting in one of the rooms of the historic home we are having our pictures taken at before the ceremony. The photographer is going to give us 15 minutes.
We will have pictures taken after the ceremony with the wedding party at the gallery.
This will cut down the time for the guests waiting for cocktail hour to begin.
You can take a lot of pictures before the ceremony - you and your parents, him and his parents, you and your maids, him and the men, bridal party all together except you... and that shortens up the photo time between the ceremony and the reception. I personally don't care as a guest whether the bride and groom miss the cocktail hour - but you do need to make sure that is what happens to make time for pictures - so the guests aren't waiting forever for food.
My sister did her wedding this way - although she and the groom did have breakfast together, he didn't see her in the dress until she walked down the aisle. This was actually his choice - she didn't care. And we split up the photos as above - although it did mean that we missed ALL the hors d'ouevres, which sort of sucked.
FI and I will do a grand presentation before the ceremony with just our families, a few friends, and the photographers as the audience. So we will get photos of the moment, without having it be in front of everybody. I know we will both be emotional, and our families will be as well, and we all agreed that's fine in front of each other but we prefer it not be completely public.
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My guy came with me to choose my dress, he's coming with me this week for the fitting, and he'll be the one to help me get dressed that day :) So pooh to superstition- I'll be glad to spend my time getting ready with him! We'll be taking pictures before the ceremony too, since we're also have a short reception.
A grand entrance is neat, but I'd rather spend some contemplative time before the wedding with him than have all kinds of relatives running around stressing me out more 
If this is something important to you, that you have always dreamed of, I say go for it. My favorite moment of my wedding day was seeing my husband for the first time as I walked down the aisle. There was so much emotion for both of us, with the music playing and everyone standing up, and we both got really teary. Like you said, it was very "powerful" and I'm glad we didn't miss out on it.
You really can take so many of your pictures before the ceremony, and even half an hour after the cermony is enough to do the rest of them. Are you having a cocktail hour or anything like that? Guests won't mind if you miss out on that.
If you do decide to see each other ahead of time, I liked what my sister-in-law did. Her husband was waiting at the end of the aisle, and she walked down the aisle to him -- just the two of them in the chapel.
It seems like this tradition is one that is quickly fading away -- at almost all of the wedding I have been to lately, the bride and groom see each other before the ceremony.
It seems we rush so many things in life right now--I think this is one day where the clock should stop. While having pictures done before the ceremony may get you to the party quicker, I think that a good photographer can streamline your after the ceremony pictures so you willl get your Moment down the aisle and have plenty of time to be with your guests.
You can also have pictures the day following your wedding!! Not a trash the dress (although that sounds like so much fun) but photos that the two of you may not have had time for.
jcabc -- i had a similar concern so i posted about it a while back (see it here). i took a poll and 550 people voted -- it was almost 50/50 -- those who would see each other post wedding, and those who would wait.
looking back, i'm really glad we did what we did. we got to take some nice pictures calmly, have a semi-private moment (our wedding party and my mom were hanging around to watch) and not have the pressure of the big moment. also, i realized after the fact, that my walk down the isle was so surreal that all the pressure i would have built up to that one look, that one moment, would have been not what i'd hoped for as you can't plan how you'll be feeling or what you'll be able to focus on then.
we also really enjoyed being with our guests immediatley after the ceremony for a group picture and then for our walk together to the reception, which was a huge highlight for us (see it here and here). we got to attend our own party, and trust me, it goes so fast so you'll want ever minute you have with them.
HTH!
We are not going to see each other before the ceremony. I've always dreamed of seeing my guy waiting at the end of the aisle for me and despite the church and photog recommendations, I don't care. My cousin and his wife didn't see each other before the wedding and it was priceless. We're going to split up (family, bridal party, etc) the photos before the ceremony but my photog said that she only needs about 15 minutes after the ceremony for group shots as long as everyone is there. I think guests know that the cocktail hour isn't necessarily going to include the bride and the groom for the entire thing.
To me, seeing him see me at the end of the aisle is sometimes the only thing that's getting me through this right now!
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We're not going to see each other until we walk down the isle, by his choice. It doensn't matter that much to me but it's something he's dreamed about for a long time and I want to make that moment special for him. We are doing as many photos before the ceremony as possible and then planning on including many of the 50 guests attending in the pictures following the ceremony (ceremony and reception are taking place in the same space). We're hoping to get just a few pictures of us that day and then go out the next day with out photographer who is one of my best friends. It's looking like it's going to work out since it's supposed to rain that day of the wedding but be nice the next day.
Bottom line: I'm not one for superstition or tradition that doesn't mean anything to one or both partners. Do whatever feels right to the two of you. Just make sure that you make that "first look" moment special whether it's before the ceremony or during.
Good luck everyone!
It was really important to my FI that we part ways after rehearsal and not see each other until the moment I walk down the asle. I can live with that... I think it will be really special. But I can also understand those who choose to see each other before the ceremony. I think I would have been fine either way, but since it was so important to him we are waiting. :) I'm sure we'll both cry and be SO nervous, but oh well... as soon as I see him everyone watching will disappear!
Wow, I didnt expect this post to come back to life after 5 months! I saw the title and though "oh interesting!", without remembering it was mine Thought I would give an update for anyone who is interested! We have decided that we will do all pictures before the ceremony. To make sure we still have our "moment" we are going to see each other for the first time in a park near our apartment that has a lot of meaning to both of us. There is a path there that leads under a bridge to a small area with a fountain where FI will be waiting for me. It will be only FI, me and our photographer. We are pretty private people and like the idea of being alone in those first few moments (ok, not completely alone, but more alone then in front of 100 pairs of eyes!). And the park allows us to still have something that resembles walking down the aisle. Now lets just hope it doesnt rain!
I'm not sure what the pthers gals said, but what if you did all the pics of you and your girls before wedding, he could do his the same way - kept away from each other/done at different times - then do group shots after.
It's not going to take hours, and if you have a pre set idea of what you want and work with your photog....you should be able to bang it out in 30-45 min. Might be a wee bit rushed, but as the reception is so short you could do more afterward?
Hope it all works out for ya :-)
Also, as some bees have said, it is apparently pretty common to get a second bouquet and such and have pictures or you and the groom after the actual wedding. Our photographer suggested it right up front, as he tends to love morning/evening light and we are getting married in the late afternoon. You can make sure you get at least some photos at your venue right after the ceremony, and then go ahead and do another hour or so at a location of your choice (maybe outside somewhere?) on another day. Get a little more wear out of the dress!
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I am having trouble deciding when the first time FI and I will see each other the day of our wedding will be. I always imagined the first time would be when I rounded the corner to walk up the aisle... The idea of that moment seems very powerful and special to both FI and I. However, the problem is that our reception (which is only 4 hours!) will immediately follow the ceremony and I dont want to miss out on the party because we are taking pictures! Plus I dont want to rush the pictures either.
So my question to you ladies is – when did/will you see your soon-to-be husband for the first time on your wedding day? If it is pre-ceremony, how did/will you make that moment "special"?