Post # 1
There’s this girl at church who up until last week was on the worship team. Back in February her and her boyfriend took a trip to Vegas. She posted pictures on Facebook and the comments were mostly positive of the trip but the church we go to is very conservative. I kept thinking that it might come back to haunt her. This past week the church released her because they felt that going on the trip was setting a bad example for the church and especially the youth. This position was volunteer and she is actually an RN. The church wasn’t paying her anything.
We have a girl who is in her early twenties who has a paid position on the youth staff. She has been dating this guy for like a year and every time you look up they are kissing or involved in some other kind of PDA. We have another girl who is around the same age who has been married for around six months and she is always making suggestive Facebook status updates. Her and her husband went to youth camp as leaders and one of her status updates was wishing that they had their own cabin. No one really seems bothered by this. I just don’t think these two are like the best examples and their getting paid.
Do you think the church over reacted about the Vegas trip? Do you sense a double standard?
Post # 2
Kacey23: Some of the most judgemental and otherwise awful events in history have been perpetrated by churches.
On the other hand, some people still need to learn not to post their lives in Facebook!
Post # 3
Kacey23: I think being “released” from the church on any basis is hypocritical as the Christian religion’s Bible says that everyone, even bums, theives, and prostitutes, have the right to be in the church.
And I don’t know what released here really means, they can’t be a member? They are no longer getting paid by the church for something? Either way, using these people’s personal lives and FB lives to judge them and compare them to one another is wrong.
Post # 4
Of course it’s a double standard. Churches are notorious for this kind of thing. Maybe they were looking for a reason to let her go, and found that on her Facebook and figured it was perfect.
On the other hand, if this was an important position to her and she knew how the church would respond to things they didn’t approve of, she should never have posted anything. I work at a Catholic high school, and I am constantly monitering my own social media pages to make sure that they are appropriate (both the things I post and the comments my friends make). Do I act like that in my life outside of work? No, not necessarily, but I don’t put it on social media in case the school could ever use it against me. Common sense.
Post # 5
I do think there is a double standard there. It’s possible that the gal that was let go was in trouble because the conservative church thought she was sharing a room with/sleeping with her bf. In my church, she would probably have been under scrutiny for that too.
As for the PDA in front of the youth, someone needs to shut that down. Super inappropriate in front of people that you’re supposed to be leading by example.
And the husband and wife? Well, they’re in that early, lusty, sexy time of their marriage… I get that (I’m there too) but I wouldn’t be posting it on Facebook at a Christian camp. Jeez… some people need to learn boundaries!
Post # 6
They said she couldn’t be on the worship team anymore. She can still come to church but can’t be in a position of leadership.
Post # 7
It does seem unfair. A lot of churches operate under the guise that “leaders should be held to a higher standard”… and they SHOULD. However; “the standard” that most people use has nothing to do with the Bible and more to do with the church by laws or denominational motives.
Unfortunately, social media makes it extremely easy to find and misinterpret information. I would be sure to keep FB airtight or privacy reasons against employers or organizations someone is associated with.That goes for any profession.
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN
There is such a thing as church discipline, and if a church doesn’t follow through with it, they’re going against God’s plan for the church. That being said, I do thinks a lot of churches take it to the extreme and/or allow for double standards. Were the pictures she posted suggestive? If not, I definitelyhink the church went overboard. Especially since they aren’t doing anything about the couple with PDA issues. As for the married couple, I do agree that they should be careful what they say. But they are married. I don’t think it’s horrible for married couples to talk like that.
Post # 9
It’s highly probable that you don’t have all the information on this. Typically, a true sin issue has been unearthed when someone is told to step down from leadership and I believe that the church has every right to do that and should. But really this whole issue is between her and the church leadership. I think you need to keep your gossip out of it. Gossip is a sin, too, you know.
What your post really says to me is that you don’t trust or respect your church’s leadership and that you are constantly judging others around you. Yikes.
Post # 10
Kacey23: that is awful. Unless she was posting very obscene, suggestive pictures or taking shots etc.
So judgemental, i cant even. Then again, the rules at every church are different and i would think in a position of leadership she would know what is acceptable and what isn’t. If the rules of social media were not directly spelled out to her, then she should have just been talked to about the situation.
I see a double standard going on here.
Post # 11
howtobeawife: dude. If gossip is a sin, you should probably stay away from internet forums. Also your last paragraph is very judgy of someone being judgy.
Post # 12
raspberrymojito: Touche, as is yours. However, not all internet forums are created to talk about other people and their personal affairs. Many internet forums, such as this one, are intended to discuss one’s own business (which is not gossip). So not all internet forums are gossipy and must be avoided.
Post # 13
Kacey23: To be honest, it is a double standard and the church doesn’t care. Things like these are why I walked away from Christian churches and never looked back. Churches at times seem to be hot beds of hypocritical, judgey behavior. I hope she finds a new church that fits her needs/ doesn’t punish her for being a normal person.
Honestly, they should let her stay because it sounds like the trip was tame – isn’t her showing the kids that you can still participate in regular culture and have morals a better example than never living in the real world at all? The kids who are sheltered from everything tend to be the most wild when they get some freedom.
Post # 14
If she knew the church was conservative, and she was in a position of leadership, why would she blast her Vegas trip out on facebook? People need to learn to keep their private lives private. She can either abide by the principles of the church and be in leadership, or not. This is not rocket surgery.
Post # 15
If you feel that this is a double standard, and you disagree, I would air your thoughts with the minister. If you feel that you receive an unsatisfactory answer, I would find a different church. I can assure you that people have walked away from churches for much less. After all, hypocrisy is one of the things which Jesus loathed the most about the Pharisees…