(Closed) Seems like everyone is getting married or engaged except for me :(

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
652 posts
Busy bee

@Papillion:  either accept the fact your time will eventually come and concentrate lowering your debt and be happy for them, or continue to be impatient to the point that you depress yourself and get mad at SO. 

If you do want to et engage at this point you may have to sacrifice your dream wedding and just go to city hall. Trust me, you don’t want to start off marriage on poor finances. 

Post # 4
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I know how you feel! My SO and I have been together for 1.5 years (short time period by WB standards) and I grow more and more impatient every day. I went through a phase a few weeks/months ago where I literally could not stand it, but somehow I grew out of it and realized that I should just relax and enjoy being with the man I love! We have a timeline, and that really REALLY helps, because even though it is going to be a surprise, I’m not constantly wondering “I wonder if he’ll propose tonight!” Have you and your SO talked about a timeline? It is hard to bring up the first time, but you wil feel a lot better about it if you do, from my experience. Get a feel for when he is thinking about taking the next step without pressuring him into doing so. Approach it more as curiosity than impatience.

Good luck with everything! Remember, you haven’t been together that long, and you’ve already been through the hardest part: finding the right man! Your time WILL come! I promise! Until then, though, there are tons of waiting bees here for you to vent to, so you’re in good company!

Post # 5
16216 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Girl, I remember when everyone around me was getting engaged. I know it’s difficult to be surrounded by all of that when it’s all you want for yourself. I just always tried to remind myself that it really isn’t a competition and that my special time was on the horizon, too.

Also, try to be happy for your friends and family and enjoy helping them celebrate their engagements. You’ll want their support and energy once it’s your turn. Plus, focusing on the good will help you remember that this should really be a happy and fun time for you, not one that makes you frustrated.

And when all else fails, just look at your awesome SO and think about how lucky you are to have him and know deep down (even if it’s not public or official yet) that you have an amazing guy who you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with.

Chin up, hun! 🙂

Post # 6
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Papillion:  In the same boat, sister.  We’ve been together 2+ years, live together, have pets and vehicles together….but no ring!

I totally feel you on everyone around you getting engaged.  All our or friends have gotten married in the last year and all of my female cousins are now engaged.  then 3 nights ago I see two more of his good buddies have proposed to their girlfriends they’ve been seeing less time than he’s been seeing me.

It’s hard.  You want to be happy for these people but its a struggle not to get mopey and sad and wonder if you’re not “marriage material” and all of those silly thoughts we have.

I was very upset the other day about the 2 friends getting engaged, so i turned to two of my recently engaged/married friends for advice.  They told me when they got to that breaking point with their bfs, they simply quit discussing or asking about getting engaged and saw pretty quick results.  I was skeptical but have been at it a few days and he’s definitely noticed me not talking about vendors or watching TLC “wedding porn” or asking him ‘when when when??’.  Now HE is starting to bring it up.

So that would be my advice, just dont bring it up and politely act like you dont care.  I think sometimes they just know we want it so bad that we’ll wait forever for that ring, and need a little push 😉 


Post # 8
8 posts

what’s troubling you? is it jealousy at others? or resentment towards him. 

calm down. live your life. when the time comes and you feel ready, then come back and tell us all about it. 

Try to be happy for others. It shouldn’t be difficult if you truly care about them. 

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