- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
Is there something in the water?!? I know I posted about this yesterday (no responses but still nice to get off my chest) but I guess you could say things haven’t changed a bit. (sorry its a bit of a long rant) Cliff-Notes version at the bottom for those who don’t like to read/don’t like mass amounts of details :]
Don’t get me wrong, I love my FMIL and she’s such a sweet person usually so I don’t understand WHY she is acting this way. Ever since FI mentioned she had a his list of family/friends for invites and it was over 150 and I pretty much just asked him if the people she put on the list were ones he wanted to come shes making it seem like I’m some terrible monster that’s trying to keep him from inviting his family. 🙁 All I said was I originally thought we’d have about 200 people total but if he was close with all 150+ of those people we’d find a way to accommodate them.
He told her what I said last night and apparently she took it as me saying “you have to cut back on your list, thats too many people and they can’t all come.” Ok hold up I NEVER said that! Ugh! I thought it was all over and done with because he said ok I’ll check her list and see what I can do. Boy was I wrong!!
On their drive to work this morning (they work at the same company) they apparently got into an argument again. She apologized(in her mind) later on in an e-mail that she sent to him. He forwarded me the conversation, and yes I know, probably not a good idea on his part and I didn’t ask to know about it. So now, this woman who has been nothing but nice to my face and all “Oh sure, whatever you need help with” and “How do you feel about ______? And just so you know, if I mention an idea its because I intend to pay for it” is now telling her son that just because he’s marrying me doesn’t mean I’m always right (uhh, duh) and sometimes you’re just going to have to tell me no. And if that wasn’t hurtful enough, she says I’ve repeatedly ignored the fact that shes trying to help and threw it in his (our) face that she paid for the rental of our location. (again, not something we asked for at all!)
I’m not going to lie, me and FI are both pretty indecisive people who aren’t good with little details so we haven’t mad a whole lot of decisions (I picked the colors, bridesmaids, and dresses basically and he chose the day) and since FMIL has one kid who has been married already she knows much more than us. But the people who are invited to our special day should be the people who we have a close relationship with and we want to share this with them. That, to me, is NOT something someone else can decide for you!
For those of you who like the cliffnoted version better:
-FMIL made up a list of FI’s family/friends to invite and its WAY over what I imagined.
-I told FI to check her list and make sure she included everyone he wants and make sure theres no one he doesn’t want.
-In FMIL’s eyes I’m now a terrible bridezilla telling him he’s not allowed to invite everyone in his family.
-She’s telling us that we have no idea what we’re doing and throwing it in our faces that she’s helping so much and paying for things (mainly our location)
-I think our wedding should include the people we have close relationships with/watched us grow up. (second cousins twice removed, that step-aunt you talk to one every 4 years, and the guy 3 cubicles down who you’ve known for less than a year do NOT need invited. All hypothetical of course…mostly)
-Right now I pretty much want to curl up in a ball and cry. Was my request to simply check his mom’s list REALLY worth all of this?!? Am I really the terrible bridezilla she’s making it sound like I am?