Post # 1
I’m trying to quell my seething by talking it out a little, and since I don’t want to inflict my negativity on my social circle, I thought maybe you’d tolerate it. My cousin’s bridal shower was last week. I’m her Maid/Matron of Honor and I went to a great deal of effort to make the occasion as special and fun as possible. Months of planning, hundreds of dollars, many sleepless nights, etc. I’ve been thinking/worrying about this event for a long time, especially because I’ve never thrown a shower before.
The shower was not held at my house (since I live in a small rural area), but at a family friend’s of the bride. It was understood from the beginning that I was the hostess and her house was the venue. I showed up early, prepared all the food and drinks with a couple of the bridesmaids, and generally ran everything as smoothly as possible. The owner of the home chain-smoked on the back patio with her friends for the entire party. She didn’t set up anything, didn’t watch the gift-opening, etc.
Anyway, after the party, dozens of photos of the party were uploaded to various social media outlets. I’d say most of them are attached to messages of thanks for the great afternoon, entertainment and food provided by the owner of the home.
Maybe it’s petty, but it’s really bugging me. She did literally nothing except lend us the space (she’s a sweet lady but I mean… seriously, she didn’t do anything) and we provided all food, drinks and entertainment. And she’s responding to the posts with “you’re welcomes”, etc. It’s driving me insane.
Anything thoughts beyond the obvious (“stay off social media” or “get over yourself”)?
Post # 2
- Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA
I’d be annoyed too! Although there’s not much u can do at this point, at least you got to vent here and hopefully release some of your frustrations!
Post # 3
I would be livid but would probably outwardly say nothing. Depending on how passive aggressive I was feeling, I might jump into the Facebook conversation and say “yes, homeowner, thayou you so much for lending your home for the venue. It was perfect and made it easy to arrange everything else! Thanka again!” Not so mature, but I would be tempted.
Did you have information about who was the host on your invite? Who did you have people RSVP to?
Post # 4
That would irritate me too. Hopefully the bride knows your contribution.
Post # 5
anonybee0810: Post something a little passive aggresive yourself ” I’d like to join in thanking___ for the use of her home. The bridesmaids (list their names) and I are so grateful that we had someplace to honor ___ (the bride). We worked hard to plan a fun afternoon for ___ (bride) and her guests, planning entertainment, providing the food, beverages and decor, but the shower would not have been what it was without ___ allowing us to use her home.”
Post # 6
Stiletto13: The invites listed one bridesmaid and myself as the hostesses and as the people to send RSVPs to. We were also the only ones make announcements (“please help yourselves to the buffet, etc.).
lfranke: The bride and her mother thanked us multiple times for the effort, which did make it all worthwhile. I think I only truly started to seethe when she posted something like, “I want to thank homeowner, my family, anonybee0810 and bridesmaid for all their hard work” and it was followed by half a dozen other pictures from her family saying “yes, homeowner did an awesome job!”
Post # 7
julies1949: this answer was terrific!
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
julies1949: YES. Do this, OP.
Post # 9
julies1949: Agree! Perfect!