We’re doing the food for our cocktail hour ourselves, then having the meal catered. So far we have planned on:
A cheese display (we are doing an East Coast/West Coast theme with this one, with an assortment of California and New England cheeses, since he is from LA, I am from NH, and we met and live in SF), with homemade preserves, local honey, fresh grapes and figs, and a few different types of nuts with different seasonings
A charcuterie display with grainy mustard and various pickled vegetables
Crudites with a few different dip options (haven’t decided yet but I am leaning toward bacon-leek, smoked salmon, and basil pesto)
A miniature sandwich station with: biscuits with country ham and peach mostarda, loster rolls with homemade aioli, and peanut butter and jam with fresh berries on cinnamon swirl challah (it sounds out of place but it has personal meaning to FI and I as well as his family)
If you do pasta, I would recommend assembling baked pasta dishes well ahead of time and freezing them, or, for normal sauced pastas, making the sauce ahead, reheating it in a crock pot or chafing dish, and mixing in pre-cooked noodles just before serving.
If you are doing things like mini hamburgers, you will need someone to man a grill and assemble them. In that case you may want to expand your grill menu to pre-assembled skewers like @LynnSnow suggested.
Warm dips and fillings, like the lettuce wraps above or pulled pork as @fascinated mentioned, keep well in Crock Pots or chafing dishes also.
I am also very fond of fried turkey for large gatherings, but you would definitely need a fryer and someone to manage it.
I would personally avoid anything that would be high effort to serve and/or not keep well: chicken wings (unless served straight off the grill), mashed potatoes, grilled cheese. No one wants to eat lukewarm or gluey food, and you won’t want to have to worry about how service is being managed on your wedding day.