Post # 1
Fiance and I attended a wedding this weekend in which Fiance was in the bridal party. We had TWO different people invite themselves to our wedding in a span of 24 hours!
The first one was at the rehearsal dinner, from the groom’s mother, who upon meeting me said to Fiance “I do hope I’ll be attending that wedding”…Fiance responded somewhat awkwardly with, “I sure hope you will too!” We have no plans to invite her. I obviously just met her this weekend and Fiance is not very close to her.
The second was someone Fiance went to college with whom he doesn’t keep up with hardly at all. This guy just got married a few weeks ago and had called Fiance a few months back to get his address so he could send him an invite to their wedding. Fiance was surprised to be invited at all since they never keep up and I don’t get the impression that they were ever that great of friends. I met this guy and his wife, and chatted with them for a few minutes. They asked me when our wedding was, and where, and I divulged the info thinking we were just making small talk. When they went to leave the reception, the guy said to Fiance, “Well go ahead and send us an invitation because we’re going to be at your wedding either way.” WTF…
WHY do people think they can invite themselves?!?! It’s just SO rude! I would especially not expect that from someone who just got married and should probably understand being limited by space/budget/etc. This stuff just drives me crazy.
Post # 3
That’s terrible! Who does that? It’s one of my worst fears. No one has the money or space for stuff like that. I can’t believe the second set of self-invites is planning on attending even if they don’t get an invite. Nuts! Good luck sorting this out.
Post # 4
Some people have some nerve!! Well I would not worry about the friend as you don’t seem to have any contact with him at all except this suprising random invitation, so it won’t affect you too much to not invite him!
But that mother of your friend is different, as she might be negative about not getting invited with people you know – not to mention is seems from your FI’s answer that he basically agreed to inviting her!
So I think you should invite one and not the other if you can. If you really can’t, maybe you can ask your friend to explain things to his mother.
In any case, I would suggest you practice a standard answer when people say things like this, like “Well we’re still reviewing our guest list as xxx (the venue is small, our family is large, we’re having an intimate wedding…) but thank you for the enthusiasm”.. Well, you can probably find better standard answers online, but you get my drift 🙂
Post # 5
My entire office (only 7 people) is convinced they are all invited and think I’m joking when I tell them we unfortunately can’t. Our hall only holds 90 people -including vendors my family is 54 people alone so there’s no room for co-workers.
…They also seem to think they can complain about the fact we aren’t having any dancing!!! Its 3 in the afternoon and I don’t like dancing…AND YOU ARENT INVITED so stop worrying about it!
Post # 6
Oh, that’s horrible, I hope they were joking!
We had one person invite herself. She got lucky and made the cut because I discovered that we weren’t meeting our venue’s 150 people minimum.
One of FH’s coworkers is actually complaining that he has not received his invitation yet. He keeps nudging FH about it and says that he never received a wedding invitation that late. Really? Can’t you just be happy that you are invited? You already know the date!
Post # 7
It is a wierd situation to be in and yet it seems it happens to all of us! You should just invite them to everything that requires a gift – shower, engagement party + wedding – if they really want to be there invite them to all of it! ok I know that isn’t right….
I think Lexsy’s advice was good, have a prepared response 🙂
Post # 8
@kermie: Hahaha, that’s hilarious in a not really funny way. How annoying!!
Post # 9
I’m not inviting any of my co-workers but 2…and those are people I consider friends. I work at a college that has 5 campuses. I work at a the smallest campus with about 10 immediate co-workers–none will be invited. The 2 that will be invited are friends who I got to know when I worked at one of the other campuses before I came to the campus that I’m currently at (May 2009). It just makes sense to me. Our guest list, which is pretty much set in stone, is at 43 (which includes 3 kids). We’re on a small budget and it’s OUR wedding; I’ll invite who I want to invite! People can complain all they want but I’m still going to have a blast! 🙂