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Ok ladies, this is meant to be an anonymous poll. I voted, and you should too. You dont' have to comment on it unless you want to; it's a pretty controversial topic. Vote away and select as many as apply to you!
Since we're obstaining until the wedding, this came up in conversation at our house the other night. We both have, we both do occasionally, so we're okay with it. I always ask if he thinks about me on the rare occasion that he does, he says yes, I'm happy. haha. We'd both much rather be with each other though...*sigh* Only 23 more days... LOL
We're "other," I guess. We don't have religious or moral beliefs that stop us from doing it; just neither of us have ever been into masturbation. I guess there's just other things we'd rather do, instead. ;)
I'm pretty he does it, but I have absolutely no idea how often or when or anything and I'm not entirely sure if I want to know lol I joke about occasionally, like the other night when we were playing Wii, you had to shake the Wii-mote up and down in that kind of way and I joked that he should be good at that one with all the practice he's had. He proceeded to give me a goofy look and just said "whatever!" and smiled and went on or something.
I think this poll is so funny for some reason. It's sort of taboo for women to admit that they "self love" but look at the majority of responses here. Is it a "don't ask, don't tell" type thing? Very interesting poll, MJ!
In my ab psyc class during the sex disorder lectures our teacher made an interesting point about masturbation.
She asked us first...
how many of you have ever masturbated? (and very few people raised their hands)
how many of you get diarrhea? (and pretty much everyone raised their hands)
Isn't it weird that so many people were willing to admit to diarrhea, but not masturbation? I personally wouldn't discuss either, but I thought her demonstration was telling. Just wanted to add that since people were commenting on how masturbation is so taboo.
believe it or not, youre actually missing another option!
its "i do it and he doesnt"
I agree, texas! I have a hard time when guys say they don't. Suuuure ya don't, buddy.
We're a long distance couple & we have to keep things spicy during our phone conversations. We're both very open about it & comfortable with it... we kinda have to be! It keeps us somewhat satisfied until we see each other again!
Its an essential part of a LDR... it keeps us connected, as silly as it sounds!
I'd like to say that the only options for only "him" not doing it would be like, if he was constantly surrounded by dudes....I had mentioned this to my DH while he was deployed and he said that some guys do it in the barracks around everyone else. Once, when the Redskins cheerleaders came to Iraq, he refused to go because there are too many soldiers with their hands down their pants, playing with their junk in broad daylight!
Guys are so gross sometimes! Dunno why i felt the need to share that with you all...but i was pretty disturbed by how open men are in general about playing with themselves, but that's army life for you.
I have a friend who tells a story of a lieutenant popping a squat on the track cuz, well, he had to poop and didn't want to fail his running test.
*eye roll* Women are just not like this, THANK GOODNESS! Some privacy is okay =].
But yes, taboo for sure. I think anything taboo is very interesting in general as i'm sure that in 50 years it will not be the case as society progresses socially.
Heck, look how many companies out there cater to women's sex toys! There are tons! I was incredibly surprised when i went to buy something for our honeymoon (for us!) and obviously there was an insane amount of women's products out there.
Oh and I always secrertly roll my eyes when all my friends claim "oh but he would never masturbate. he loves me and that's cheating on me". mmhmmm. So why are there playboys in the bathroom of the frat house?!
I am surprised by the comments about it being "taboo." It's a fully open conversation with just about every single woman I know!
hmmmm - but my guy doesnt. in fact, about a month ago i mentioned buying some toys he was like "no you cant do that" so i also think he doesnt know that i do or if he suspects he doesnt mention. btw, i did bought a toy and he doesnt know about it
my hubby is a bit older than me. before we got together he openly admitted to masturbating but since we became a couple i dont believe he has. but ive said it a few times on WB, my hormones have completely insane this year so i dont think the guy gets much of a chance for alone time.
whew... info i would NEVER share with a friend but on weddingbee, i spill my guts!
He doesn't and he insists that I don't
(Although both of us use to do it before we lived together)
I think there's another option missing, but I guess it could be consumed under #1 - we do it together...
I have no issue with self-loving. FH and I, actually after dating for one year and prior to our engagement, did long distance for a year. I would do it & I admit I use to do it in college. FH definitely does it & I have no issue with it; however, we now live together and well that's when it gets touchy. When we didnt live together I still did it - he did it alot more than me & seriously I had no issue with it - I actually would ask him about it because it's kind of a turn on. Honestly, the man's being an honest man and keeping it real with his woman and being loyal - so I am all for it. Same thought for me doing it when I lived away.
Has anyone experience it during living together, i.e. him trying to do it when perhaps you decided to go to bed earlier - it can be a little weird if you catch him - but hey, whatever. Self love is even better when shared - i.e. together, then totally togther - sorry TMI - but blame it on date night & a little vokda he he
Love this post.
We were posting at the same time, Ms. Guava-Tini. That's the best way to handle it and then there can be some extra-curricular or homework, too.
Well, I can definitely see the argument that if you live together, that's the "other person's job" because I sorta feel like it's our jobs to take care of each other when we're around each other, too =]. I wouldn't really want him being all "oh, well i'm going to bed, but don't come in yet. There's something i want to do that i don't want you to do for me"
I guess i forgot about those other married people who LIVE with their husbands. What a novel idea...
Guavatini, you crack me up. That would be really weird to wake up and find out your SO was doing his thing in bed while you were all passed out snoozing and drooling on your pillow. Ok, so *I* drool on my pillow. Not exactly a site to think about at that moment
while im spilling my guts... i find a guy "doing his thing" as EJ said above sexy.
We have a "do what you gotta do" attitude in our household. Funny that's what guys say about women, too, that it's sexy. Double standard?
I guess i'm just apathetic in general about men masturbating. I have relatively no opinion to it. To me it just seems pretty natural, like a big poop. I don't want to see it, but I know you feel better afterwards.
Then again, nothing really grosses me out or weirds me out about bodies in general. I might laugh and poke fun a little but after years of preparing for medical school, nothing really truly makes me uncomfortable. As you can tell. I have zero boundaries on weddingbee, lol. Zero. I don't take life seriously enough =]
LOL ejs. Comparing masturbating to taking a big poop.
I love weddingbee :D
I will say that I think I'd be a little creeped out if Hubs was in bed next to me doing his thing...
Once we were in the process of getting things on and we were interrupted by something that I don't remember so he started working himself back up and it was a little awkward so I took over, which I think works better anyway...
I should add that I really have no problem with him doing it, honest, I just don't need to know about it so much, ya know?
It is as natural as eating and sleeping. Everyone does it and only some folks don't admit it.
Married 20 years..I do it. He does it. Sometimes we do it. No big deal.
Neither of us do it on a consistant basis, but we don't talk about it. It usually happens when we work seperate shifts and such. = )
I do it, and he doesn't know. He swears he doesn't do it, and for some reason, I believe him 100%. He's so innocent and never lies to me, ever. <3
just rang hubby at his office... i said i dont care what the answer is but do you or have you masturbated since we got together
he said not for a long time, when we first started dating yes but theres been no need to for a long time
of course, as it was a 45 second converstation i suspect once his brain has time to process my question i will be getting a phone call in about 20mins asking "what the ..." from him :)
bwhahahahahahahahh he lasted less than 5mins and just phoned to ask "what the!" and "who the hell are you talking to"
We actually just talked about this the other night LOL. He claims that he hasn't since we got together 4 years ago but idk... he IS a guy and sometimes my headaches/schoolwork/I'm too tired/working overtime/my monthly visitor/working different shifts excuses can last a little while so... I'm just saying!
I'm with @kazoochair... it's perfectly natural and everyone does it. Maybe not everyday or every week... but everyone does it.
So, I chose religious beliefs keep us from doing it.. it's a little bit more gray than that, though. Right now we're in a situation where we have the ability and desire to meet each other's needs and wants enough to where it's not necessary for him, but if we were ever apart for a long time I don't know that I'd necessarily have a problem with him doing it. As for me, well... I am remarkably ill-informed about what feels good down there. :( My husband has encouraged me to play around in order to let HIM know what to do, but I haven't yet discovered anything that feels any more pleasurable than poking myself in the forehead. I'm considering asking him about buying me a toy, but I'm a little shy about that since we're likely to be moving in with his parents soon. That's definitely something I don't want them to know anything about, even if they DO leave their Astroglide laying around!
heh, I didn't post on WHAT my religious beliefs on it are. Basically I see it as if we have sexual needs, why shouldn't we ask our spouse to handle it for us? We entered into our marriage with the agreement that we would barely ever say no to each other if we could help it, so I don't really see a place for masturbation in that scenario.
Well, I'm currently in an LDR, so I think we all know what my answer was...But when he comes back and we are living together again, I don't really think we bother since it's more fun for the two of us to do other stuff...So there ya go :)
We both do. It's not that we're not satisfying to each other...I just sometimes enjoy that time to myself when he's working late or something...and I think he does it if he gets home earlier than me, if I'm out with my girlfriends, etc.
I use toys...I can't really get into it with just "me". I think there's nothing wrong with using them unless you get to a point where you're not turned on by the "real" thing and not something battery operated. That's not a problem for me because I do it pretty infrequently.
All the time! We have a whole toybox, and love experimenting with new things, both alone and together.
@December: That's a really good way of looking at it. If I'm correct, you waited until marriage so it definitely makes sense that you don't need to. I do agree with your husband, though, when he said to experiment down there. Doing it has helped me with my past partners and currently my FI. I don't use toys because they just don't do it for me. We're all different, but many women can't reach orgasm through actual intercourse only and need a little um...external stimulation. Just something to think about if you're curious :)
I'm in the "it's normal, it's healthy" camp. However, sometimes I get a little annoyed if he has, and then opts out of having sex. (It RARELY happens, but still) Just out of curiosity, when we say "he masturbates" are we automatically assuming he looks at porn? I assume that, and don't care, but I think that changes the question for some women.
We fall into the we both do... sometimes apart, sometimes together. No biggie. and for the record, I think it's sexy too...
sjbee- Good point. I don't care if he "self loves" but I do care if he looks at porn, and for most men, these things go hand in hand (or something else in hand, haha...)
I think I would be unhappy if he "did it" while we were married and living together, but I don't know if that will be an issue yet since we're not.
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