Selfish Rant

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

That sucks. the worst part about it, is you can’t get away from her because she married into the family… ;(

I am sorry you have to deal with that.

Post # 4
Member
8035 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

 

 

 

 

Every time she gets under your skin she wins and you perpetuate the competitive drama. Just stop giving a shit about her and her antics. Simple as that. Just (don’t) do it. 

 

 

 

@mrsdfarrar6714:  

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
45 posts
Newbee

@MrsBuesleBee:  

+1 OP, you’re better off just focusing on this happy time in your life.That chick seems really immature as well as insecure..don’t allow her to bring you down to her level…if you feed into her garbage, she wins…every time. You ignore her & her childish behavior, you win…period. She is definitely not worth stressing &being upset over…definitely not worth it.

Post # 6
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

She’s trying to get attention and validation from other people because she isn’t getting it from her husband; likely didn’t get it when they were dating, either. I’ve found that people who behave that way have a history of being treated poorly, and never found a way past that hurt, so it manifests in attention seeking behavior.

Try to understand that she is probably hurting because of her husband (and possibly past people’s) behavior. Does she have friends and family who are supportive of her?

Post # 7
Member
38 posts
Newbee

@mrsdfarrar6714:  Does she know about the sexting? If so, she is probably feeling really insecure and feels like it is a necessity for her to explain how awesome her relationship is (when it clearly needs some work). Because she has married herself into the fam, you cannot get away sadly. But, just don’t react! It is hard and sometimes will feel uncomfortable, but just focus on yourself and surround yourself with YOUR friends.

Sorry you are going through this. 

Post # 8
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

 Nothing she does is going to take away from your wedding. Just be the mature one and mind your own business, and let her mind hers.

Post # 9
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Part of me would want to be really passive aggressive to her so she gets the hint that you’re not stupid and you know what she’s doing.

As she’s talking about something baby-related, I’d interrupt and say something like, “Oh — SIL, please, you don’t want to bore everyone with that! I’m sure they’d much rather hear about my wedding planning.” … or, “SIL — how cute that you’re so excited already! Aw, just give it some time, I’m sure everyone else will be excited, too. They’re just focused on my wedding.”

 

I know it’s not the right way to go about it, obviously, but something to consider… hehe 😉

Post # 10
Member
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mrsdfarrar6714:  ignore, ignore, ignore her antics.

I actually think it’s better to not talk wedding to FMIL in front of her anyway. Just ensure you and FI meet FMIL on your own, so you can talk weddings then.

Oh and your FBIL is a POS if he’s been sexting other women virtually from their wedding day. Take comfort in the fact you’ve got the good twin she’s got the douchebag. It sounds like she’s pressured a crappy guy into marriage, and now into children. I just feel sorry for her.

Post # 11
Member
5839 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@mrsdfarrar6714:  first to get engaged, first to get married, first to get pregnant…first to get a divorce. Seriously, that marriage will implode, just give it time. Focus on making your MARRIAGE as strong and happy as can be–she will never be able to “beat” you there.

PS- I would start making snarky comments about how “fat” she is going to be in all the family photos as in “Wow, you are so brave to get pregnant right before all the family photos. I would be so self conscious being so fat in all those pictures that everyone is going to see”

(I certainly do NOT think pregnant woman are fat. I think they look great. But she seems like someone who is totally worried about crap like that)

Post # 12
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@mrsdfarrar6714:  I don’t think your post is selfish at all!!    

This type of behaviour would drive me nuts!  This woman must be miserable though, people who brag often are trying to convince themselves that their lives are perfect (I bet things are just crumbling with her husband’s “straying” incidents)

Best of luck to you and your wedding, don’t let her ruin this for you, try to avoid her as much as possible is the only advice I can think of. 

Post # 13
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

Ignore her as much as you can.

I don’t recommend being passive aggressive or doing to her what she has done to you. I also don’t recommend taking comfort in the fact that her husband is texting other women. 

As for her pregnancy announcement, she can announce it whenever she wants to. That’s her decision to make. 

Your wedding is still a wedding, so it will get attention. If you know she does certain things at certain times — changing the conversation when you’re talking to FMIL about your wedding, for instance — avoid those situations if you can.

If she crosses a line with you that you don’t want crossed, you might just have to talk to her about it, but other than that, ignore her. 

Post # 14
Member
5839 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@southernbelle381:  I was wondering that too. Does she know about her husband’s behavior?

Post # 15
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Ok Number 2 on your list would get annoying. Beyond that, though, the other ‘reasons’ you’re annoyed seem petty and not really your business…You shouldn’t care when other people announce their own pregnancy and if they want to have a baby dispite some alleged issues in their relationship, then that’s on them. I don’t see how that should bother you at all. I think you just don’t like her so you get super annoyed by everything she does.

Post # 16
Member
6747 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

First, your opinion on when women should annouce their pregnancy is irrelevant.  Who made you boss of gestation?

Second, it sounds like her husband is a POS, so there is really nothing ot be jealous about.

I would ignore her.

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