(Closed) Selfish Vent!!!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Actually I don’t think this is silly and I think it’s normal. Had you said that you are insanely upset that you friend is stealing your thunder, that would be different. But it sounds like you are genuinely happy for your friend and other people in your life who will be moving on to new stages in their life and you are feeling the ‘growing pains,’ so to speak, of moving on to a new one in yours once this exciting chapter moves on for you. Just enjoy your time now and don’t worry about someone’s wedding being more perfect, etc. I truly believe that our time is all meant to be, in a way, like everybody goes through the experiences they have when and how they are supposed to have it for them. Besides, there are SO many amazing and fun things that happen after marriage to look forward to. Being a newlywed rocks and so does waking up every morning next to your life partner. 

Post # 5
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well hon, I’m glad that you have some perspective on this.

For some, planning a wedding really is a special and wonderful experience and it’s fine to feel protective of that and to be sad when it comes to an end. That’s pretty normal to me.

But what I’ve found is that for one, weddings are verrrry personal and so even if your friends/sisters learn from your “mistakes,” for one, I’m sure they’ll have a few pitfalls of their own and more importantly, it doesn’t mean that their weddings will be “perfect.” Because there really is no “perfect” when it comes to weddings. Your wedding will be perfect for you; theirs will be perfect for them, blemishes and all.

Second, I felt that the day after was awesome. Seriously. I mean, you’re married–really married–to someone you’re in love with and it’s the first “real” day of your lives together! For me, it was such a great feeling that I would have been all rosy-colored glasses to hear that a friend was getting engaged herself. Trust me, even if you’re no longer “the bride,” there’s a big thrill in realizing you are “the Mrs.”

Post # 7
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

i think its normal to have the post-wedding come down. you spend so much time invested in planning and suddenly its over. im sure ill probably be the same way once mine is done!

thing is, people are excited on the day…but they dont think much about weddings/the couple the day after. so really theres no thunder to steal =) its the same as people being excited about your engagement (briefly) but not long term

i would give her the benefit of your knowledge!! not in a pushy way…as in “you should do this” but in a “where to start way”. getting engaged is overwhelming and a few pointers would probably really help her. and even though its not your wedding, its kind of exciting still to talk about it. well for me anyway~!!

Post # 8
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2001

It’s normal:) Be glad that you’re having such a wonderful time planning your wedding, so wonderful that you already know you’ll miss the experience;) I think that’s a great thing!

Don’t have much more to add but just wanted to let you know that it’s fine, and am certain you’ll have a wonderful day:)


Post # 9
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Hahahah Not sure if its totally normal but I feel exactly the same way!!!! I got engaged earlier this year to my wonderful fi. Then my little brother got engaged overseas on a romantic holiday and my friend got engaged (overseas too) and announced it with proposal pics posted on FB. Because both of them have made such a huge deal out of it my friends and family only ask them about wedding planning – everyone else seems to have forgotten about my wedding. It could be because we are planning casual laid back backyard nuptials and they are planning extravagant weddings with big engagement parties etc that people are more interested in what they are doing. But the silver lining is I found these boards where I can post my wedding planning thoughts and ideas with like-minded bees.

Post # 11
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m glad you’re feeling better!

Truly, I’ve been having the same feelings. While I’m looking forward to having normal dinner conversation again, instead of talking about guest lists and song choices, I think part of me will miss the excitement of it all. “Regular life” won’t seem as interesting! Hahaha I know that’s silly and it’s probably not true, but I have little moments that I feel like that, sort of.

Post # 12
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Alip22:  I feel the same way… I’m super sad that it’s end! I actually still haunt the “dress” boards here because I really miss dress shopping- I know I won’t go back to try on more, because I really do LOVE my dress, but I’m just sad it’s over. I’m also sad finding a venue is over (that was another fun hunt!), and everything else..

One of my bridesmaids just picked out her ring with her Fiance and is waiting for a proposal, and I was soo excited, we started talking about color schemes, and venues, and decorations… And I’m realize  I get to kind of relive it all again through her, which even though it’s not the same, it’s still a lot of fun!! Her initial ideas were exactly like my initial ideas, and I’m interested in seeing how her ideas will change and morph (mine certainly did!)… so there are exciting elements too!

But I really do understand exactly how you feel. Through all the stress, wedding planning so far has been SO amazingly fun!

Post # 13
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Alip22:  I’m 10 months late, but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for posting this. My cousin and then my little sister got engaged in the past 6 months, and while I’m SO SO SO happy for them… I’m jealous. I loved that newly engaged feeling, before the wedding stress hit and the “well, aren’t you going to lose weight” remarks started. I’m just jealous that they’re starting their process while mine’s coming to an end; albeit with the love of my life. Idk. I thought I was insane for feeling this way and now…peaceful, because I’m not the only one XD

Post # 14
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

*shrugs* Nothing wrong with wanting to be the center of attention.


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