Post # 1
Okay, I’m not sure if this is the right board for this post but here goes…my FMIL has scheduled three hair trials at three different salons for my July wedding. I’ve scheduled one. I’m wearing my hair down but she is planning a fancy up-do for our garden wedding.
She’s coming to get her make-up done with us on the wedding day and the make-up artist does faux eyelashes. I’m looking forward to having them but I know she is dead set on wearing them on my wedding day. This coupled with the hair issue has me peeved. Is it selfish of me to want to be the only one with this special touch? Will it even matter?
Post # 3
Selfish.. no way… but I dont think you have anything to worry about. You will be the spotlight. My MOH is doing the same thing, she is spending more $$ than me on her hair and make up.. at first I felt the same way as you but then I thought about it … she wont have the most beautful dress on, you will… and mix that up with how you are going to be feeling, you will feel like a princess.
Post # 4
I’d be peeved too, but it seems like there’s nothing you can do about it…. and I can understand how she could lose perspective. I know that my mom and my FMIL are both having issues about feeling "old" b/c their kids are getting married, so I can see how a MOB/MOG might get a little fixated on trying to look young and beautiful and glamorous.
Post # 5
I don’t think anybody should have a fancier updo than the bride. Im actually putting "limitations" on my bridesmaids because of this and they all think that that’s appropriate. I’m letting them pick their own hairstyle with my final approval. That being said, it’s YOUR choice to wear your hair down (and not have the big fancy updo) and you can’t really dictate that everyone needs to have non-curly updos or wear their hair down and straight. If she’s embellishing her updo with big sparkly hairpins and the like, that’s an issue. But curly updos are pretty standard. And, most women in their 50’s grew up in the ages of false eyelashes. I know my mom is going to be wearing them again and said she can put mine on for me b/c she had lots of practice in high school. So that’s pretty common I think. I think she’s just trying to look really nice, not necessarily outshine you. If it’s her hair, eyelashes, jewelry, dress, etc, and it starts to become "the whole package" versus just the hair and eyelashes, that might be a different story. You can’t expect everyone else to dress plainer jane because you are going with a specific look. And nobody can steal focus from the bride anyways!
Post # 6
Sorry, but I have to say you’re making a big deal out of nothing. If she was wearing a white dress, a veil, a fancy updo, and false eyelashes then I would see the issue. But she wants to look nice. I would rather have a MIL who looks put together than one who didn’t bother to comb her hair or wash her face. Regardless of what kind of hairstyle she has, you are going to be the star of the day. Are you limiting your bridesmaids to wearing their hair down and not wearing false eyelashes? Personally as a wedding guest I like to wear my hair up and glam up my make up. Do I do it to outshine anyone? Of course not. I like to look nice. Unless your FMIL has given you a reason to believe she has a hidden agenda, I don’t think you need to worry about this.
Post # 7
Thanks for all the comments. I just needed some perspective. It’s easy to lose!
Post # 8
I agree with EAQ219. I don’t see this as a big deal. I don’t even seem to be bothered by the big fancy updo. THis might be because for me, I think my hari looks better down or partially down, than with a big updo. If you think a fancy updo is more spectacular, why don’t you do that with your hair? If you are thinking that she is trying to outshine you, I would take a look at past behavior. Does she like you? Is she kind? Does she try to dig at you? I don’t think you should really be dictating to other people if they should wear false eyelashes or not. What if you find one of your guests has a shade of lipstick on, that you like better than your own? You’re not going to make her take it off, right?
Don’t worry. You are going to be the brightest star at your wedding.
Post # 9
I agree that it’s not a big deal. I would try to by honored by it. The way I see it, putting forth effort to look good is a sign of respect to whomever’s event you’re attending. At least she doesn’t think your wedding’s not worth getting cleaned up for!