Post # 1
My FSIL will have our 2 month old God son/nephew at our wedding in July which is totally fine by me because FMIL will be looking after him while FSIL is standing beside me during the ceremony. I expect for him to sleep most of the day and am not worried about him at all because FI and I will love him with all our hearts.
Also, I will be having some of my cousins who are 12-16 years old coming to the wedding. They are all similar in age and will keep eachother occupied.
We only have one couple that we have invited that have a son who will be 1 years old at the time of the wedding. I’d really like him to not be there as I feel that he will be prone to crying and make it so our friends won’t enjoy themselves.
Is it completely rude to have a 2 month old, and then children who are over 12 years old, but not any children in between?
Post # 3
Should I talk to the mother in advance? Or just not include her son’s name on the invitation hoping she takes a clue?
Post # 4
It is perfectly acceptable to have a 2 month old who may likely be nursing, as the only exception to the “only older children rule”. Address the invitation to the couple only and if asked say you are only having older children and nursing infants.
Post # 5
An age bracket is fine. Set a rule for yourself now, though, before you start making exceptions!
I personally would think it a little strange to invite tweens; I would set the upper limit in the older teens (14-16), but I understand why you might not want to do that.
Post # 6
You can invite whomever you like. There is no rule that says it’s all or nothing.
Post # 7
@Jenniphyr: Unique situation but my brother is 12 (12 year difference between us), so I can’t really say tweens can’t come. Our other cousins are around his age and I know they would just have tons of fun without being annoying.
Post # 8
Honestly, if this is the *only* kid not invited – I wouldn’t do it. I know you don’t mean to, but if I were a mom, I’d be a bit offended at that. Especially when I showed up and saw that there were a bunch of other children. She must be a friend or family member right? Can you just talk to her and ask her to have a plan for crying so he can be removed quickly during the ceremony? I think that’s probably the best way to do it IMO.
If, however, this affects a lot of families, then it might be eaiser and seem less targeted.
Post # 9
We wanted a child free wedding, but my SIL and MIL insisted that we invite our nephews who were 6 and 3. I told them they could bring them, and put their names on the invitation…but just didn’t invite any other children. It didn’t matter, no one seemed to care. One other couple asked about their baby and we said it was up to them…they opted against bringing her so that they could drink.
Post # 10
I’m in a similar dilema. Actually I really dont want any young children at the ceremony. So Ive decided to maybe find a babysitter and have her watch the kids in a nearby area during the ceremony. I dont need any distractions during our heartfelt vows (I already got my 3 kids to deal with) but I cant just put Adult Ceremony on the invites (our wedding is OOT) or I fear that no one will show. At the reception they can join us.
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
It looks like you’re just excluding non-family children, which a lot of people do. A one-year old can certainly stay with a babysitter, and will get *nothing* out of the wedding/reception.
Post # 12
Our wedding is outside.. there is no being removed quickly from the ceremony.. that’s the thing.
Post # 13
I’m a mom, and I would not be offended or hurt if my kids were not invited to a wedding, unless it was my immediate family (which is happening to me right now, on a side note). I wouldn’t expect people to invite their friend’s children, unless they want to include them. For our wedding, we addressed the invite to only the parents, but told our friends that we’d rather see them with their kids at our wedding, then not have them be able to attend at all, for whatever reason.
On another side note, you wanting your friends to enjoy themselves without their child will be completely up to them. Mine and my husband’s most favorite wedding (besides our own – and we’ve been to like 50+ since we’ve been together) was one wedding where my kids were invited…and we all had a blast! One of our worst weddings was where my first baby was not invited (at the time he was only a few weeks old). We literally got there right when dinner started (totally skipped the ceremony) and left immediately following our last bite of food. We were so nervous and anxious about leaving our baby that we weren’t able to have a good time.