Post # 1
I frequently see on the boards the mantra that the only duty of bridesmaids “is to show up clean and sober.” Has anyone had a bridesmaid NOT show up clean and sober? Or seen that happen at a wedding?
I have no fear of this at my wedding, but after seeing this repeated a lot on the boards, I’m super curious about the stories of rogue bridesmaids….
EDIT: I’d like to stay focused on the “has anyone had a Bridesmaid or Best Man not show up clean and sober” part of this, thanks! =o) We all have lots of opinions on what a Bridesmaid or Best Man should or shouldn’t do, but that’s not what I’m aiming for here…
Post # 3
I disagree with that mantra. I fully believe that these girls are your friends and should act like it. I don’t mean catering to your every need, but rather, I’ve heard a lot of stories about BMs totally going MIA. What kind of friend does that? I love talking about the wedding planning because I’m interested in a huge event my friend is throwing. I know it’s a HUGE part of her life. Is that all we talk about? No. I don’t believe people should put off their own lives to be there for the bride, but I don’t understand how some BMs are detrimental to the process.
But to the point of what you asked…
I’ve heard second hand stories of the bridal party havign champagne before the ceremony and whatnot, and BMs getting a little tipsy. Nothing too much though.
Post # 4
I feel like a lot of the stories about a bridesmaid going MIA are in conjunction with the bride getting so wrapped up in her wedding that she doesn’t work on the actual friendship with the missing maid.
I’m sorry, everyone has a life separate from other peoples’ weddings.
After my dad misguidedly told my sister that it was her sole responsibility to plan my shower and bachelorette (she’s a senior in college this year!) I told her that while either of those events would be nice, she did not have to feel like she needed to throw them for me.
She still is, because she wants to. Not because I asked her to. And she asks what she can do to help with the wedding because she wants to. I would never expect anyone to help me plan my wedding or do DIY projects. If anyone offers, that’s great. But not necessary. I feel like especially now, when your good friends are scattered throughout the country, no one should expect too much of bridesmaids. You don’t choose them because they will help you or because they will do your bidding. You choose them because you couldn’t imagine a wedding where they were not standing by your side.
Post # 5
I don’t agree with the mantra that the only job is to show up sober and wearing the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. That’s crap. And this is coming from someone who is a bridesmaid while planning my own wedding.
These girls are supposed to be your friends. And yes, people have separate lives BUT your friends should care about what is important to you. I do the same for the bride whose wedding I’m in.
Post # 6
@futuremrsfitz18: Kind of off topic, but thank you for sharing your opinion on why BMs can go rogue sometimes.
Sooooooooo… back to the topic. I feel like people repeat this mantra because there are stories out there. Anyone care to share?
Post # 7
I was only saying it to repy to the PP who mentioned that BMs go MIA. And I think what I said about my expectations for my sister/MOH and my Bridal Party are applicable.