Post # 1
Hi Bees. A couple I know is getting married, and I was not invited, even though once the groom said to me, don’t think about missing our wedding ( six months before the wedding). Now, I realize that I plan to send all invites (including them) 3 weeks before their wedding.
I do not want them to try and invite us at the last minute or say that they sent us an invite ( that got lost) just because we are inviting them.
I am not sure what I am asking here. Has anyone been in this situation before?
Post # 3
If you want them at your wedding, go ahead and invite them. They may have had space or financial limits that may have left you off their list but I don’t think you inviting them will change your invite status.
Post # 4
If you want to invite them, go for it. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
Post # 5
if you want them, invite them.
Fi and I are inviting a couple to our wedding. Fiance wasn’t invited to their wedding (before I knew FI). But the groom called Fiance and explained that they would love to have him but had to limit the list.
Post # 6
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
If you want to avoid the guilt invitiation, maybe wait to send theirs for an extra week or two? That makes it late enough before their wedding that they really can’t invite you due to submitting final #s to caterers, etc. That’s what I would do.
Post # 7
I decided to ask for the couples address to send the invitation
then what i was afraid of, happened. they replied with their address and asked for mine.
now they plan to send us an invite 2 weeks before their wedding? why? They know is very unprobable that we will make it with such a late notice. Its a different city and we work.
so they get to invite us after they know we cant accept. How nice
Post # 8
@Greenpat468: I think you guilted them into sending an invitation, even though that wasn’t your intention. I suggest when you send your address you say something like, “Don’t feel like you need to invite us. We know wedding guest lists are difficult and if we’re not invited we’re not at all hurt or offended.”
I haven’t been in your situation, but I have had a girl (who got married about 3 years before us, and invited me) say, “Don’t feel like you’ve got to invite us.” It was nice to be told that, even though we invited them anyway.
Post # 9
@Greenpat468: For me it would depend on why I wasn’t invited to their wedding. Maybe it was a really small wedding because they couldn’t afford a huge guest list. Maybe your invite really did get lost in the mail. How close are you? Is there anyway you could ask without sounding like you’re trying to invite yourself to their wedding?
ETA: Saw you’re update and UGH. They’re inviting you because you’re inviting them. Well, not much to do at this point, but invite them or it’ll be awkward.
Post # 10
@paula1248: yes i do understand guest list limitations. I wish they hadnt done that. I sent them my address but didnt mention their wedding because i feel a bit ackward. as i write this i am starting to feel relieved that i got it done. I assume they will understand when we rsvp No.
Post # 12
Just decline and forget about it. Welcome them to your wedding with open arms.
I think that sometimes grooms speak too soon. My husband was inviting EVERYONE to our wedding even though we both knew it was going to be a very small wedding or that we were going to elope (and don’t worry, he got a stern talking). We ended up having a mostly family wedding. Did he bother to mention this to anyone that he verbally invited to the wedding? No.