Post # 1
We sent out Save the Dates a while back. We now know that because of pregnancy, ill health, lost jobs, etc. that some people won’t be able to attend the wedding. I’m assuming we send these people invitations anyway because it’s proper etiquette, but I don’t want it to look like we’re fishing for gifts.
What do you think?
Post # 3
Sending an invite would be proper and will not look like you are fishing for gifts.
Post # 4
Agreed – they may want to keep a copy of your invite for memories sake. My Grandmas couldn’t come but they still wanted a copy.
Post # 5
I agree with Miss Burgundy and mrsleopard… No-one will see it as fishing for gifts, they’ll see it as you REALLY wanting them to be there. I think if you don’t send them an invitation they’d wonder why.
Post # 6
I would still send an invite. You never know what situations may change.
Post # 7
yeah, I felt weird about this too, but everyone said to still send the invite!
Post # 8
Etiquette rules say to still send it! Who knows, your guest’s plans may have changed.
Post # 9
Absolutely send them, although you think they can’t come, do not presume… plans change, a new job may be on the horizon, whatever… don’t risk hurting someones feelings by dis-cluding them.
Post # 10
also, I think after getting a STD, they might think it’s weird not to get an invitation. "Is she mad at us because we said we didn’t think we could come?" And if you are that close to them that you think they’ll get you a gift regardless, then maybe you can just return the favor by sending a baby gift or get well flowers, (or whatever the reason might be.)
Post # 11
For sure send the invitations anyway.
Post # 12
Definitely send them invites. They might be available to come now. You never know!
Post # 13
We are in the same position. I think it is polite to send invitations to people even if you are sure they can’t come. One of my friends was married a few years ago and I was pretty sure that I wasn’t going to come and she didn’t send me an invitation. I felt sort of rejected by her because she didn’t feel like sending me a simple invitation.
Post # 14
I have a similar situation. I know several of my family members won’t be able to attend our wedding. They’ve already expressed how disappointed they are that they can’t make it so I was worried that sending an invite would make them feel worse. But, on the other hand, I worried that they would be offended if they DIDN’T get one!
I talked to my mom (they’re her relatives after all) and she thinks that receiving an invite would make them feel "included" even if they can’t actually attend. It will also allow them to hold onto the invitation as a keepsake. So that’s the game plan. 🙂
Post # 15
I agree, but have picked out some invites that aren’t cheap. I don’t really know how I’ll feel about that though..
In the end, I’ll probably just do the right thing and make sure those who aren’t coming get one anyway!
Post # 16
Send them anyway. Things may change and they may be able to go after all.