(Closed) Send invites to those who already said they can’t come?

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Sending an invite would be proper and will not look like you are fishing for gifts.

Post # 4
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Agreed – they may want to keep a copy of your invite for memories sake.  My Grandmas couldn’t come but they still wanted a copy.

Post # 5
Member
406 posts
Helper bee

I agree with Miss Burgundy and mrsleopard… No-one will see it as fishing for gifts, they’ll see it as you REALLY wanting them to be there. I think if you don’t send them an invitation they’d wonder why.

Post # 6
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would still send an invite. You never know what situations may change.

Post # 7
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

yeah, I felt weird about this too, but everyone said to still send the invite!

Post # 8
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

Etiquette rules say to still send it!  Who knows, your guest’s plans may have changed.

Post # 9
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

Absolutely send them, although you think they can’t come, do not presume… plans change, a new job may be on the horizon, whatever… don’t risk hurting someones feelings by dis-cluding them. 

Post # 10
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

also, I think after getting a STD, they might think it’s weird not to get an invitation.  "Is she mad at us because we said we didn’t think we could come?"  And if you are that close to them that you think they’ll get you a gift regardless, then maybe you can just return the favor by sending a baby gift or get well flowers,  (or whatever the reason might be.)

Post # 11
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

For sure send the invitations anyway.

Post # 12
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

Definitely send them invites. They might be available to come now. You never know!

Post # 13
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We are in the same position.  I think it is polite to send invitations to people even if you are sure they can’t come.  One of my friends was married a few years ago and I was pretty sure that I wasn’t going to come and she didn’t send me an invitation.  I felt sort of rejected by her because she didn’t feel like sending me a simple invitation.

Post # 14
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I have a similar situation. I know several of my family members won’t be able to attend our wedding. They’ve already expressed how disappointed they are that they can’t make it so I was worried that sending an invite would make them feel worse. But, on the other hand, I worried that they would be offended if they DIDN’T get one!

I talked to my mom (they’re her relatives after all) and she thinks that receiving an invite would make them feel "included" even if they can’t actually attend. It will also allow them to hold onto the invitation as a keepsake. So that’s the game plan. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree, but have picked out some invites that aren’t cheap.  I don’t really know how I’ll feel about that though..

In the end, I’ll probably just do the right thing and make sure those who aren’t coming get one anyway! 

Post # 16
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

Send them anyway.  Things may change and they may be able to go after all.  

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