(Closed) Sending out a B list?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’d give people at least one month to RSVP.  That does put a time crunch on both your A and B lists actually.  When I sent my invitations out, I got a few “no” RSVPs back right away.  You’ll probably get some prompt responses too.  As soon as you get a “no” in the mail, you can send out another invitation to a B list person right away.

May I ask, why do you have your RSVP date almost two months before your wedding?  Does your caterer require the headcount that early?  Sometimes people just don’t aren’t able to plan their calendars two months in advance for various reasons, like work schedules.  I found that a lot of my invitees ignored the RSVP deadline anyway and were replying up until a week before the wedding.  *sigh*

Post # 4
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I was thinking I would set our first RSVP date as six weeks before the wedding. If people don’t respond, I’ll call them and ask what they plan to do. The the second set will go out and I’ll give them three weeks to reply…so approximately three weeks before the wedding  I should have my final count.

Post # 5
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I had two sets of RSVP cards made up, one with a reply date a month later than the first one, for my B list people.  It only cost another $30 at the printer and I think it was a well-worth stress reducer.

Post # 7
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You caterer needs a final headcount 6 weeks in advance?  Yowza.  That’s when most people send out their invites.  We’re sending ours out 7 weeks in advance and factoring in the 20% non-attendee average in our overall invite list.

I think having the two different RSVP dates like a PP said would work best in your situation.

Post # 8
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I agree with giving people atleast a month to RSVP.  Any later than that, and it’s obvious they are a B list.  I once received a wedding invite the week of the wedding ( adestination wedding no less) from a girl I hadn’t even spoken to in over 6 years.  Not only was it obvious I was a B list, but it seriously came across as her fishing for gifts…Because who sends a wedding invite for a destination wedding the week before the wedding to someone you haven’t spoken to in 6 years?  lol

Post # 10
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Nola: Yeah you’re doing the right thing by requesting RSVPs two weeks before the head count is due to the caterer.  You’ll need those two weeks to call everyone!  1.5 months does seem a bit early, but I’m sure every caterer is different.  Our venue was a restaurant, and they wanted an estimate 30 days out, and a final headcount 7 days out.  Whatever I gave as the final headcount, we had to pay for whether or not everyone showed up to fill their seats.

Post # 11
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Nola:

According to all the wedding planning websites and stuff, you send them out about 2 months in advance.  My caterer wants the final headcount 2 weeks in advance…

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