Post # 1
Hi bees! This is my first post, hopefully I’m writing on the right board!
I’ve been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years, and we both want to get married eventually, although I do not have a precise timeline. I am still in University, and he just started his career (we each have our apartments). Recently, I was considering going to a nearby town for an internship next year. When I spoke to him about it, I explained why it would be a good decision for my career, and he was very supportive. At the end of the discussion, I told him that I would probably apply, especially since we’re not living together and I could always come back on weekends. He laughed and said “well, you know, don’t apply too fast, you never know, the situation might change!” I didn’t ask for more details because we both want the proposal to be a surprise. Later on, I called him to make sure that he didn’t think I was just “threatening” him to leave if we weren’t living together, and he said don’t worry, I really want to be married to you within the next year! I was so surprised and super happy to hear that, I just can’t wait to live with him and get married! I’ve been obsessed with rings and venues and dresses for the past week, haha.
Last Spring I had sent him ring ideas (after he requested some suggestions), and today I started wondering if I should send him new ones because he might be going shopping very soon. I asked him if he wanted more pictures or information, and he said “do whatever you’d like, but suggestions always help”.
It seems pretty obvious that I should send him some, but I’m hesitating because I’m the one who brought it up this time, and he wasn’t extremely enthusiastic about it. I’m also afraid that if he’s already bought a ring and I’m sending him suggestions that are totally different, he’ll feel really stressed out about it (and I’m nsure he’d pick something nice anyway).
So ladies, to send or not to send?
Post # 3
@geekychinchilla: Resend him the same ideas. This way if he already has one it will match and he won’t feel like he got you the wrong ring. It he hasn’t gotten you one, or has lost the original e-mail (as my FI did) he has the ‘refresher’.
Post # 4
Has your taste changed since the last time you sent him suggestions? If you’re still happy with the ones you sent before then you’re probably all set, but if you want something different you may want to send some new ones. He did say ideas are welcome!
Post # 5
@geekychinchilla: If you don’t think he’s bought it yet, send him pics. Goodness, I tried to be helpful to FI once and give him my preferences about a watch. I was nice and not too specific and he got me a watch I HATE! Yes, a watch is different from an ering but still – be specific! 🙂
Post # 6
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my husband its this: ask for what you want. 🙂
Sounds like you guys are in a good place. You can even just have an afternoon date to the mall and wander through a few jewelry stores, Don’t let anyone pressure you, just look around. “ooh, I love the shape of that stone, but not the sidestones… Wow, look at the sparkle!.. Yeah… definitely loving the platinum over the yellow gold, I think it looks better on me, what do you think?.. Check out this ring, I love this detail!”
Post # 7
@geekychinchilla: Oh no! This makes me think that he has probably already picked a ring and either bought it or is paying for it 🙁 Maybe he thought he got you what you wanted and now it’s going to be a pain point if you send him all brand new rings that look NOTHING like what you sent him before 🙁
My advice: If you really liked the rings before, resend those. Or perhaps find rings very similar that can be tweaked without changing the setting/ring/stones too much without it being a completely different ring.
Post # 8
I see nothing wrong with you sending him some ideas. Resend a few of the ones you sent previously.
Post # 9
I think you should send a picture of the ring you want. Has your taste changed since the last time you sent him a pic? I sent my FI a pic of the ring I wanted and he matched it almost exactly. It’s really awesome to have my dream guy and my dream ring! 🙂
Post # 10
Thank you so much everyone! What a great community we have on here 🙂 As many of you have suggested, I think I will send him some suggestions, but I will be careful not to send something radically different from the stuff I’d sent before, just in case he already has the ring (!!!) And I will let him know that these are just suggestions, so if he has something different he won’t be too nervous about it 🙂 so excited!!!