(Closed) Sending STDS to some, not others…

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I just sent my STD’s and yes…some people thougth they were the actual invitation!  However, I put "formal invitation to follow" at the bottom, so I think that dispelled most of the confusion. Most of our guests are from the South and East coast, and only a handful were confused. 

Post # 4
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

Some of the older generations haven’t heard of them- many of the people in my fam hadn’t heard of them until I sent them myself… Just make sure to put "formal invitation to follow" on the bottom so that they know it isn’t the actual invite… that should clear up any potential confusion!

Post # 5
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My parents were confused too about the concept of std’s – they told me to just send invites so I was thinking about just sending invites earlier.  What do you girls think?

Post # 6
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

<p style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt” class=”MsoNormal”><font face=”Times New Roman” size=”3″>Save the Date is starting to get popular now in days. It’s great to use it when your wedding is around Summer time and holidays. This gives your guest the heads up for them not to make vacation plans around your wedding date. Also if you’re inviting guest out of state or country that give them time to plan their trip to your wedding. Like everyone say make sure you write on the bottom “Invitation to Follow”.</font>

Post # 7
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I think STDs are a fairly new idea.  However, we didn’t seriously confuse any guests with ours – including all of my mom’s side of the family, who are western farmers and ranchers.  I had one guest call to enquire whether we needed an RSVP – his wife told him not yet, but he wanted to make sure; one guest call to ask when the wedding was (sort of missed the actual date on the STD); and two people write to give me their new addresses, as they were moving and they didn’t want the invitation to miss them.  

We sent ours mostly because we are getting married during prime vacation time, and wanted people to factor us into their plans.  Not only so that they wouldn’t be gone for our wedding, but also because I have some cousins and friends who live overseas, and only come home once a year, and we wanted them to be able to schedule their trip to coincide with the wedding if they wanted.  And also its totally impossible to get a hotel room in our town on the weekends in the summer, so you have to book months ahead.

Post # 8
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I live in a major city and I still had some family (living in the same city) that was confused and said "I got your invite, thanks."  I had to explain that it was just a STD and I had also put on "Formal invitation to follow."  I think it’s just a new idea to older generations.

As my wedding date is not around holidays or the summer, I took the opportunity to use them to send them to folks I really hoped would make it.  So, in essence I didn’t send them to the entire invitation list of only 90 people.

Good Luck!

Post # 9
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I never heard of save the dates until last year when my friend sent me one. I was a bit confused as well, but it seems to be a growing trend. So much so that i also sent them out.

I agree putting "formal invitation to follow" is a good idea.

Some people even sent me an email after receiving it saying "" thanks for the invitation!"

Post # 10
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2008

We didn’t send out save the dates to everyone. We asked our parents who we should send them to from their people and we sent them to the majority of our people on the list. Those people we weren’t sure about we didn’t send an STD to and some of my parents friends who I had never met, since my mom got remarried when I was younger I have a different last name than her and my step-dad (who I consider my only dad) we thought it may be a tad confusing to them, since the STD only had my FI & my name on it.

Post # 11
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

yeah.. most of my family won’t know anything about it.. so i only send STD’s to my friends and that’s it.. i like to avoid any confusion especially knowing it may lead to another mini drama.. i got so many already, one less is fine by me.. =D

Post # 12
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

oh no!  i forgot to put "formal invitation to follow"  i figured that it would be a given that it was not the actual invite (no rsvp card, causal wording, etc)  and it said in bold letters "please save their date" 

 what do you think?  will i be okay?

Post # 13
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I didn’t put "formal invitation to follow" and didn’t have any issues at all – no one seemed to think that they were invites.  And if they do think they are invites, what’s the worst that can happen?  They will save the date and be happy when "another" invite shows up!

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