Sensitive Subject.. exchange ering? :S

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
4649 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

FutureMrsKenward:  Oh no, bummer!! I picked my own so I hope to love it (never tried it on!). Can you keep the stone and put it into the setting like you like?? That way you’re not losing money on the stone…

Post # 3
11626 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s really hard to tell him after eight months that you’ve been lying and don’t like the ring he chose.  Plus, if there was a return policy for exchanging it, you’ve likely missed that window.

Perhaps you can save up and make your ring into a halo down the line?  Or upgrade on an anniversary to another ring?  I just think there are going to be more hurt feelings from the deception than there would have been from just telling him outright eight months ago. 

Post # 4
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Hmm, I think I would have it reset on an anniversary.  I think it would be hard to explain now why you want to exchange.  If you love halo, there are pretty princess halos you can go later on.


I am sure glad my FI and I picked my ring together.  I feel like the woman should have a say in comething she has to wear every day for the rest of her life.


Until you can get it reset, just try to enjoy it for what it is.  A symbol of his love for you.

Post # 7
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas

I think it’s beautiful. Sorry you don’t like it much. My husband asked what I wanted in a ring but he ultimately picked it out. I’m pretty sure he would have had his feelings hurt had I expressed any kind of disapointment at all. Would you rather ask him to change it now or wait to ask for an anniversary upgrade? Does he know you don’t wear it? How does he feel about that?

Post # 8
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Are you sure you haven’t missed the deadline to exchange it? If you’re not going to lose money, I would go for it.  This is a ring you’re going to be wearing the rest of your life.  You don’t want to swallow a little regret every time you see it, you want to smile and give your husband a kiss!  It will hurt his feelings a little bit, no way around that, but let your gratitude and happiness make up for it.      

Post # 10
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

FutureMrsKenward:  I couldn’t ever imagine parting with the ring FI gave to me when he proposed. No matter what style. I think he’d be very hurt.

Post # 12
2581 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2006

FutureMrsKenward:  Your ring is pretty.. But, if you don’t love it, you are gonna hate to wear it much. You already said you leave it in the jewelry box most of the time. If you aren’t gonna lose any or much money, I would exchange it for the set you want for sure! Just, be positive that is the set you love..

When you discuss it with your FI, be sensitive to his feelings. Just tell him, while it is a beautiful ring, it just isn’t the style you always dreamt of. And, you really thought after time you would love it, but you still are dreaming of that other set… He will be okay I am sure. Most men just want us to be happy!!!!

Keep us posted what he says. 


Post # 13
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Just tell him not that you don’t like it – I would rather say that you want to “jazz it up a bit” – especially with the option of not losing any money. I don’t know, but I don’t think men tend to to take the news as badly as we’d think? I mean, personally, I don’t think my fiance would’ve minded (but then again, he insisted I pick out the ring, because he wanted to get exactly what I wanted).

Post # 14
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

FutureMrsKenward:  I guess I am of a different opinion from most people who have posted thus far.

I think that you should LOVE your e-ring. and your FI should want you to LOVE your e-ring. You need to be proud of it.

Sometimes girls are disappointed in the size of their diamond or the price that was spent on their e-ring, and that comes across as ungrateful and bratty. You, however, are not asking for a larger diamond or more money spent. You are just asking for a style difference. There is nothing wrong with that!

I’m sure if your FI knew how you felt, he would be sad. Guys want their girl to be proud of their ring and to show it off. I know what you mean about gaps and trying to find an e-ring that fits flat against it. I changed what e-ring i wanted based on that alone, and FI was more than happy to go back and exchange the ring (this was before he proposed though, I didn’t know that he had already bought a ring…he took me to the store to try on rings and i tried on the one he had bought -i had no idea- and decided i didn’t like it bc there would be gaps….he went back the next day and exchanged it for a diff ring. because he wants me to have one that i love!! I didnt know any of this until after the proposal though).

If you got your FI something that he didn’t love love, wouldn’t you want him to change it for something that he would be proud of and love?

Especially since what you want is the same price, I think you should sit your FI down and gently tell him how you feel. Go for it. Be gentle – make sure that he knows that you love HIM and you LOVED the proposal and that you aren’t rejecting him or his gift. You are planning on spending the rest of your life with this guy, you need to be able to communicate your feelings. If you have to lie to him about liking the e-ring, that’s not a great start to anything! that’s why i don’t understand why so many girls lie about liking their e-ring when they really dont.

The longer you let it go, the harder it will become…..

Post # 15
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

FutureMrsKenward:  If it’s not too late to exchange, I would exchange it. You want to love it, not feel like, “damn, I wish I had something different.” I agree with Bexx: I would want him to exchange it and be happy with it, and I’m sure he would want you to be happy with it.  

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors