- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2011
I have been secretly reading everyone’s posts for months. I have been engaged for 9 months now and not getting married until April 2011.
I just wanted to get some other bride’s opinions on a situation I am sure every bride has felt.
When a girl is little, she dreams of her big day (yes i know its just a dream, but still) you think of a whirwind of parties and everyone making a big fuss over the bride. Especially the mother of the bride. My mother never had a wedding and she used to always talk about me getting married and the spectacle it would be. I am the only girl with 2 brothers. Both who are in the military overseas. I am the only child in the state (I have my own house).
I have been engaged for 9 months and not to sound selfish or anything, but no one, not even my mom, has acted like they care. No engagement party, no talk about it, no question of what my plans are, no wanting to come to bridal expos, nothing. When my fiance and I sat down and talked about what we wanted, we came up with a small, intimate wedding in Jamaica with immediate family and friends. Everyone was ecstatic BUT my mother. Not only are we paying for our wedding ourself, but I offered to buy her dress. Now she is making me feel bad because she doesnt want to pay for the ticket/airfare. But I dont feel that its about money. We are getting a group discount with the resort for the guests and made sure it was an all inclusive for them. We gave everyone a heads up months ago of the aprx date (april 2011, which I feel is plenty of time to save up and plan their vacation). I understand that it is their vacation and money that they have to put out for, but its not only my wedding, but a vacation for them. Everyone is ok with this, but Mom.
I feel slighted. I thought that she would be involved and excited. I am her only daughter. My mom is my best friend. We have an excellent relationship. I want to talk to her about it, but I dont want to come off selfish. I dont want to make her feel bad, but I want to express the way I feel. I want to be a big “to do” to her. I want her involved and excited. She is literally ruining this whole process. Everytime I call her with ideas or things that we are doing, she just nods her head and acts like she isnt listening.
I dont know how to approach her without sounding spoiled. (which i am not). I had a full time job at 16, moved out at 18. Paid my way through college, bought my own house at 23 and have never asked her for a dime since I was 16. She never has been their financially, and thats ok with me.
But my wedding is different. She should be stoked. I thought this time would be the best for us to bond more and create the best wedding, one that she never had, one that I dream of.
Am I delusional?