- 5 years ago
- Wedding: February 2014
Ive been engaged for about 10 months now, and 9 more months until I get married to the man of my dreams. but heres the story…
fi and I got engaged on our 6 yr anniversary. I planned the whole thing. he reassured me he wasnt proposing on that day so I planned this whole thing, kit and kaboodle. I booked out a nice hotel by the beach the day before so the actual day we can spend at the beach and shopping and whatever. long story short, (fi is a full-time civil engineering studnt – close to finishing) he had a report due the next day. so he brought his laptop to the hotel and did his report while i pretty much slept int he hotel. he woke me up at midnight, gave me a letter went on bended knee and proposed. picture it, im half asleep still half lying/siting on my bed – and then he proposes. the ring he proposed with was a promise ring we gave each other in our first yr anniv (but he asked for it back during a massive fight ages agow hich i forgot about) like a 9ct heart shaped ring. My heart sunk through my stomach. then he pulls out another ring his family bought, thick band quad setting diamond. still didnt like it but hey, better than an old ring i owned anyway!! he knew exactly what i wanted – princess cut, pave setting yellow gold.. which is why while he was on his knee he said i promise ill get you more rings, whatever ring you want, when i can. him being a student and all, i couldnt really expect more.
fast forward to this year, particularly last weekend. when my younger FBIL proposed to his gf of 6 years who is also my best friend and bridesmaid. i knew about this for so long. he had been planning it for months and months! an amazing race proposal with a me to you bear at each station, followed by candel lit, rose petal scattered room with him in the middle with an $8900 princess cut ring to propose to her with. mind you, he works as a retail assistant and she is in her 2nd yr of uni, they are both 20yo. fi and i are 24 &25. look, im happy for both of them. i dont know why im crazy jealous about it. i purposely distance myself from her because i dint want to spill about the proposal and we only see each other once a fortnight kinda so it didnt feel that obvious. when i saw her the day after i felt like i wanted to cry. it was the exact proposal i had been dreaming of since i was like 5. with the same ring. (man, im getting tears just writing this).. FBIL is the competitive type. FI is very chill and down to earth. another thing that hurts me is that FBIL planned all this with my other bridesmaid and another girl to help him! he knows Im her best friend, he fully cut me out the picture. I think it wouldve hurt less if i was involved in her special day.
FI picked up on it and asked me for what I honestly felt about my proposal. I told him the truth.. I feel like he pretty much hijacked my anniversary plan, felt like it was a good idea and just went with it. NO THOUGHT PROCESS, NOTHING. it was the first time he told me not to call him because he didnt want me to hear him cry. i felt bad, i thought i was asking for too much .then i find out FBIL gave his gf a whole wack of cash the day before to treat herself to a new outfit to wear on that day, to get hair and nails did and a massage…man… it was such careful thoughtfulness and planning. just sparked up jealousy again.
i hate feeling like this i should be happy im even engaged. he admited to me tonight he feels angry with himself he didnt put in enough effort in the proposal even tho it was last year, but i feel like every girl dreams of a perfect proposal, perfect wedding, perfect man .. well at least ive got two of the three.
has any one else experienced this? or feel same way? whenever i hear of romantic propsals, i tend to switch off because ill probably end up feeling hurt if i think about it again lol )=