Post # 1
One of my friends, let’s call her Jen, is getting married in March 2014. Jen sent out Save-the-Dates about three months ago. One of our former grad school “friends,” let’s call her Lisa, got married last weekend. I was invited, but couldn’t go to the wedding because of a scheduling conflict. Lots of other friends went and they all described it as very glamorous and over the top.
Anyway, Jen and I were catching up today and I made a comment about Lisa’s wedding being too much. I was never a huge fan of Lisa and was trying to be a little catty. Little did I know that while Jen had sent Lisa a Save-the-Date, Lisa hadn’t invited Jen to her wedding. Cost and size concerns were not a factor based on what I’ve heard. Even worse, when Jen contacted Lisa to get her address, Lisa lied and said that she and her fiance were eloping.
I never meant to upset Jen. She’s a great person and doesn’t deserve to be treated like that by Lisa. My question is would it be terribly awfully for Jen to not send her an invitation? I know she’ll do it, but I still want to hear peoples’ thoughts…
Post # 3
I don’t think it would be awful at all.
Lisa has done things that make it seem as if she prefers to not be around Jen. Jen doesn’t need to invite people who don’t want to be around her to her wedding.
Post # 4
If she wants to invite her that’s fine, if she doen’t that’s fine too. At the end of the day, she should do what makes her comfortable. If she’s not okay with her there then don’t invite her. After all, it is her and her fiance’s day and they are the ones paying for food, drinks, seating, etc..
Post # 5
@Janielum: it sounds like lisa only lied to jen because she didn’t want jen to feel bad for not sending her an invite to the wedding. lisa was not obligated to invite jen but she shouldn’t have lied.
jen has sent lisa a std already. she is considering not sending her an invite now because lisa lied to her? or because jen wasn’t invited to lisa’s wedding? or both?
i think if you send a std, you should really send an invite. jen obviously wanted lisa at her wedding at one point.
Post # 6
I’m not sure what Jen wants to do because I changed the subject as soon as I realized that Lisa hadn’t invited her. Lisa could have invited Jen. I got Jen’s Save-the-Date, right around the same time I got Lisa’s invite (a little earlier actually), so it’s not like Lisa didn’t have time to include her.
I just feel like Jen’s getting the raw end of the deal. The only reason she wanted to invite Lisa is because she’s part of a bigger friendship circle, not because they’re particularly close. If Jen invites her, she’s kind of a chump, but if she doesn’t invite her, she’s being rude. I’ve always thought Lisa was a jerk, so it annoys me.
I suppose that if I were in Jen’s shoes, I’d still invite Lisa, but only because I wouldn’t want to give her a reason to bad mouth me, not because I’d want her at the wedding.
Personally, I’m not making any suggestions to Jen, I just wanted to hear objective thoughts.