Post # 1
I sent a save-the-date to the “baby mama” of one of our groomsmen.. they live separately but it was under the assumption that they would come together (it’s complicated). well now he’s telling me that she’s been cold as ice to him and that he doesn’t know whether she plans on going or not but really kind of hopes she doesn’t.. to spare him and myself and fiancee from a tense/stressful situation, is it ok to just not send her an invite?? we only sent her one because they were still somewhat together… and he’s the one we are good friends with.
Post # 3
If she is not with him, she probably wouldnt come anyway. I would still send her the invite since its the right thing to do. If they do get back together, you dont want her resenting you.
In case it comes up again I would send an invite for a pair to only one address with one invite to the person you know best. No need for two seperate invites for a couple
Post # 4
See how it is when the time comes to send the invites. If their on/off relationship is “ON” at that point, then I would send her one.
Post # 5
@ncsuzyq626: that’s what I was thinking!
Post # 6
@lefeymw: i know, i wish i’d done that…i wanted her to still feel welcome because their situation is unusual. but our groomsman friend said she’d just been awful lately and really hopes she won’t come. i doubt she would because we are friends with him really, but who knows….
Post # 7
@lefeymw: I agree. If they’re “off”, I’m sure she wouldn’t come! But sending an invite would still let you be the “good guy” to her in case they’re “on” again in the future. Besides, it sounds like they’re really unstable, so you may *not* send one, and then they’ll be on again by the time the wedding rolls around. I don’t know, I think you risk the least by just sending her an invite.
BTW, is your wedding a no kids wedding? Is the child invited?
Post # 8
I would send him the invite with her name as a guest.. then it’s up to him to give her the invite or not
Post # 9
It happens. I’ve regretted a few STD’s…it’s so hard to predict who you’ll be chummy with 18 months down the road. I still sent out the formal invites to these people out of obligation and in the hope that things will improve, but I’m also sort of hoping they can’t make it…or don’t want to make it. I’d rather not worry about who i have to seat seprately, etc.
Post # 10
I agree with a PP – I would not send her an individual invite but rather include her as a guest on the groomsman’s invite. That way, it’s up to him.
Post # 11
You have already invited her. You have just not followed up with the specific details. You have told her to reserve the day, and you have to follow up with those details.
But if things are really that tense, it is very likely she will not attend.
Post # 12
I would still send the invite.. etiquette i guess? lol but like pp’s have said, if they aren’t really together she probably won’t go.