Post # 1
My FI proposed ringless…..we picked the ring out together and paid for it out of our joint acct as we were living togteher. When it came we just opened the box and I put it on. I cant help but feel like it has no sentiemntal value. How can I change that?
Post # 2
It’s just a symbol of his love. You already had the proposal. I’m sure that was the heartfelt part and now you have the ring that symbolizes that love. Only YOU can put those sentiments together. Asking him to re-propose (if that is what you are saying) would be silly and THAT would not be heartfelt and sentimental to him (and probably hurt his feelings) if you should ask him that.
When he puts that ring on your finger at your wedding…THAT will have the sentimental value you want!
Post # 3
Maybe you could tell your Fi that, maybe set up a new date for an “official” proposal. Make a special day for both of you. If you like you could return the ring to your FI and ask him to give it to you on that day. 🙂
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2014 - victoria educational gardens
I agree with sharksgrl99. The ring is just a symbol and him asking you without the ring was the actual proposal. My fiance also let me pick out my own ring so I can kind of see where you are coming from. Most women have been dreaming about the day a man gets on his knees and proposes but you just had this without the ring 🙂 My fiance didn’t even get on one knee when he proposed. It was kind of a would you marry me…are you serious?…Yes I’m serious…uhhhh OK! But I picked out my own ring and when it came in, he did get on one knee at that time. I wouldn’t think too much into it. You have the man of your dreams!
Post # 5
Look at the number of threads where Bees complain that they don’t like the ring. Maybe you could try to think how fortnate you are that 1) you ARE engaged and 2) you had input into choosing the ring you liked. You may feel differently, but to me a more romantic ‘do-over’ wouldn’t really change anything, because I’d always know that it wasn’t the real proposal.
Post # 6
I would suggest having him put the ring on either before or after a date. That way you have that feeling of him slipping the ring on your finger without asking him to stage a proposal do-over.
Post # 7
I didn’t have a proposal at all. I picked my own ring and when my boyfriend and I picked it up from the jewellers his final line before the jeweller slipped it on my finger herself was, ‘So thats it, I’m trapped then’ It was obviously a joke and the jeweller told him rather firmly, ‘yes, you are.’ Go girl power. But, hey I was engaged. All i needed. Thrilled.
Post # 8
herecomesda: we did go ring shopping, but ultimately my fiance did the picking. I love my ring, but it doesn’t doesn’t hold a ton of sentimental value to me. I am super sentimental about my actual proposal – and of course my darling guy. 🙂 Some of us just aren’t ring/jewelry kind of people!
Post # 9
Well, you can’t change the way things happened. And demanding he do it differently or stage another proposal would be silly (not that you suggested this, OP), as it wouldn’t change anything at all. Many people view their rings as symbols – no more and no less. My rings don’t hold great sentimental attachment for me, though I wouldn’t trade the man for the world. It is what it is, and you have a ring you like, you are engaged, and hopefully you are marrying the man of your dreams.
Post # 10
I don’t think you should get attached to your ring right away. It should happen over time as the ring sinks more meaning into it. Right now, its a symbol that you and your FI will be married. Then it will be the symbol of that you and your then DH are married. Eventually, it will symbol your family.
Post # 11
If it were me I would ask him to engrave it and let whatever he chooses be a surprise. Easy $30 fix to increase sentimentality 🙂
Post # 12
herecomesda: I love the sentimental value of you two working together and contributing jointly to this symbol of your love. You are entering into this phase of your relationship as true equals in every sense of the word and I think that’s amazing!
Post # 13
We picked out my ring together, truthfully, I did all the leg work. While I appreciate that I love my ring, I had requested that he engrave something meaningful to make it more speacial. Our jewellers told us that the ring was too thin to be engraved, so that didn’t happen. It turns out, I can’t decide what wedding band to get. I’ve narrowed it down to about 10, and he will pick one and surprise me. I never really got a proposal, and while I’m not expecting something crazy, the element of surprise is nice and exciting!
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May
I understand the sentiment because we picked our ring together as well. The day the ring was ready, we picked it up and i slipped it on and felt underwhelmed. FI understood that and was willing to do a proposal with the ring. We walked over to the spit where he had our first date and he dropped to one knee holding the ring that had been on my hand seconds before. That was I needed to burst into tears. Ask FI if he minds making it official with the ring.
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May
franklyn: I really think thats sweet and a great way to incorporate that little element of surprise. I had thought about doing it too. When will you see the band he chose? On the day of your actual wedding? Make sure the photographer captures your face when you see your band- makes a cute shot.