(Closed) separate beds?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My parents have never been extremely traditional or religious (although my grandparents are) we couldn’t share a bed until we moved in together.

Good Luck!

Post # 4
Member
2873 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Yep, my parents are the same way.

I did not sleep in the same bed as my then BF or FI even well into my adult hood, and even after a previous marriage.  I did that out of respect for them.

Post # 6
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

we are getting married in October, and STILL have to sleep in different rooms when he comes over to stay (LDR). Really sucks! We just keep saying ” 3 MONTHS…3 MONTHS”

 

Post # 7
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Even when we were engaged and living together we weren’t allowed to sleep together at our parents house.

Post # 8
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

my FMIL is the same way. when we travel home to visit we stay at my grandma’s house or friends’ houses because we both don’t sleep well at all without each other (we have been living together 3 years). she is even that way now that we are engaged. she won’t allow us to share a bed/room until we are married. she is an awesome lady though and we understand, we just choose to sleep elsewhere (which is fine because she gets up waaaaaay too early!).

Post # 9
Member
2873 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@smiley3: I don’t think your mom requesting you sleep in seperate beds is a way of her saying your relationship isn’t taken seriously. 

ETA: thinking back on my waiting days (ohh I loathed them) things like this would strike a nerve.  But I promise, I don’t think your mom thinks you guys aren’t “serious enough” and all of these uneasy feelings will all fade away when he does actually propose and you are married. 

Post # 10
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

My parents are the same way, but that was OK — in their house, the two guest beds were a twin size in my room (the one I’d had since I was 9), and a full-sized bed in the guest room. I have no interest in sharing either of those with BluesGuy.

Post # 12
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

@smiley3: But the thing is… at this point, you *are* just boyfriend/girlfriend. yes, you want to be engaged, and yes, that will happen at some point, hopefully… But the current reality is that you aren’t, and that you are just BF/GF.

Post # 14
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

We are engaged and living together.  We are allowed to share a room at my parents and have been since we got together.  His parents won’t let us share a room until we are married.

Ordinarily, it’s not so bad, but at their cottage, it is a huge pain, because there aren’t enough beds, so it means that one of us ends up really uncomfortable.  And, the walls are so freakin’ thin, it’s not like we would be up to any shennanigns.

Post # 15
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Hahaha…. I live with my FI and before we went to my parents home at Christmas my mom called me laughing becuase my dad was panicking about my FI and I sharing a room/bed.  It was especially funny because my brother and his girlfriend (NOT FI) had been living at my parents house and sharing a bed for 3 months already.  But, I realized it was because my father still thinks of me as “his little girl”.  My mom talked to him and of course we were allowed to stay together.  I did think it was sweet on his part, perhaps a little old-fashioned and a bit of a double standard when it comes to daughters vs. son, but sweet regardless!

Post # 16
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I must say, I get the reasoning your mom has but think it’s kind of unmerited since you guys live together. It would be totally different if you didn’t openly live with him IMHO. In my case, we stayed with friends or my cousin mostly when visiting my family so the issue never came up but since my paretns never asked us not to live together I didn’t expect they would have a problem. On his side, his sister had a BF who was ALWAYS staying over when she still lived at home so his paretns didn’t even think twice after my first visit (this first visit involved seperate beds in the same room). I think circumstances play a huge role in this sort of thing and how many beds are avaliable.

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