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That's kinda weird. Maybe it's a family tradition you don't know about? Or it can be used to offset your personal wedding expenses?
Either way, take those separate cheques and deposit them into your joint account if you want to. No point in making a fuss about it if she's set on it anyways. :)
side note, I wonder if he'll get more? lol
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That was my first thought-- maybe she's doing it this way so she can give him more! What's your relationship like with FMIL? Do you think she'd do this as a small dig to say that while she's giving you a wedding gift, you're less her child than her son is (and thus he's getting a bigger gift)?
that's weird.... i wouldn't be too worried about it, though. people have all kinds of baggage and weird issues about money and marriage. it's definitely strange, though, you're not wrong. maybe she has an idea that you each ought to have *some* money separate? i've heard that kind of idea from some family members in a more explicit way.
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Do y'all have separate accounts still? Maybe she wanted to make sure y'all both got some to spend. My mother does that so that we don't spend it on bills or boring house stuff.
I don't know, me and my FI split everything down the middle so I would appreciate my FMIL for doing something like that. Either way don't look too far into it- keep it seperate if you want or put it into a joint account. It's up to you as to what you do with it
my FMIL does stuff like this all the time. I go back and forth- is she making a point that she doesn't like me? Does she want us to get things we each like and not use it for boring household stuff? *sigh* I feel your pain!
Hmm, is your FMIL financially sophisticated and the amount may be large? It could have something to do with marital property laws in your state (separate gifts in many states remain separate property, not marital property).
She could also be saying that she wants you each to have some fun money?
Hard to say, and yes, pretty weird. Any other hints in her behaviour?
I defo find it weird. But who knows... maybe thats just her way of giving you each a gift and didn't even think of it the way you did.
It could be related to taxes - especially if it is a large amount, to make sure they can give you the maximum without incurring additional taxes.
Hahaha... we'll see what happens. It was just a weird comment, probably not thought out well at all. She'd previously mentioned getting us a piano. I have a feeling it won't be a lot of money because she's already contributing to the wedding. We'll see what (if anything) happens in the next few weeks.
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Kinda weird, but hey...money is money! You'll probably combine it anyways, so who cares. Maybe she's trying to emphasize that she's giving YOU a gift, not you TWO as a couple....I dunno. I wouldn't read too much into it though
You might be thinking too much into it. Some people get confused as to who to make the check out to so perhaps this is a way to avoid that!
I don't think it's that big of a deal. If you are both comfortable with how you deal with your personal finances whether it be together or separate... Just add it to the pile. Maybe she wants him to buy something from "his" registry (like Lowe's or those manly places) and you from yours :) It is what it is, don't read too much into it or you could wind up causing a rift between you and FMIL through unspoken actions.
If she is intending to give you a combinded amount of more than $12,500, there is an easy explanation. Each year, an individual taxpayer (FMIL) can "gift" another taxpayer up to $12,500. All amounts up to $12,500 are considered a gift and you do not have to pay taxes on it. For any amounts in excess of $12,500, the receipient (you) would be required to pay taxes on. So, if for instance your FMIL was planning to give you & FI $15,000, she could giveone check payable to you as a couple, but you & FI would be responsible for gift taxes on $2,500. If she simply gave two separate checks, say, one to FI for $7,500 and one to you for $7,500, taxes averted.
So, if gift taxes are the motivation , she is actually doing you a favor by writing two separate checks! :)
She might be doing this if she and her husband have seperate accounts. Maybe she thinks you do, too? If she's lived her whole married life that way it may not have occurred to her that some married couples have joint accounts. I wouldn't read anything into this, although I agree it's a bit quirky.
Don't read too much into it. It's probably tax-related. Each person can give a max of something like $12000 per year to another individual that is tax-free. Any more than that is subjected to a rather large gift tax (for either the recipient or the giver, I can't remember). This is probably her way of itemizing it so that neither of you have to pay taxes on it.
I gave separate cheques to two of my friends who were marrying each other. I did this on advice of a Yahoo question and answer board regarding monetary wedding gifts. It alerted me to the possibility that the bride may not have combined her finances with her groom yet, and her name change may not have yet occurred. To make sure they could use their gift, I gave the bride a cheque made out to her maiden name, and I gave the groom another cheque so that he didn't think that I neglected him. I didn't want them to go through any difficulties because there were multiple names on the cheque.
I'd give your FMIL the benefit of the doubt. Then again, I don't know her.
Don't worry about it! Just do what you want with it and think about other things.
That is really odd. Maybe she just wants you to be able to buy something that you both individually want? I wouldn't read too much into it.
I would guess it's so you can each go out and get something fun for yourself, without either of you feeling like you're using the other's money for something selfish.
Is it me, or is a gift of $12,500 a lot? Umm, maybe my family is just poor... You have to have some idea if she is able to give you that kind of gift.
I don't know if it's anything to be alarmed about. If you don't yet have a joint account, or if she doesn't know, she might be thinking the kind thing to do is give you each a check. Otherwise she'd address the check to one of you, and doesn't want you to think the money is just for her son. Or maybe she thinks it's a chance for you both to get somethign you want for the house, instead of debating it. He can go get a plasma TV, and you can get blinds for the house.
I think more importantly, if this is something new between you and her, I wouldn't read too much into it. But if you have typically noticed she doesn't take a shine to you, then maybe she meant it to dig at you.
I wondered if it had something to do with the amounts that she was planning on giving you. Like other folks have mentioned, if you give a gift above a certain amount, you have to pay taxes on it.
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I have nothing against getting money as a wedding present, especially if it's unsolicited and the giver is choosing to give money as a present. I'll still probably use it to get stuff off my registry.
Here's the question -- and this really rubbed me the wrong way -- my FMIL said that she's giving us each a check as a wedding present. She literally said, "You're both getting checks. Son, you'll get a check, FDIL, you'll get a check." So, as the first thing she does for us an officially married couple is to give us separate monetary gifts. We've combined our lives years ago, and once it becomes legal, she's separating us?
This hasn't happened yet, so I'm not sure what's really going on. I want to believe that she just said that thoughtlessly, but I can't be sure and I can't convince myself. I'm not too upset, especially as this is still something to come in the future, but I wanted to throw this out there to see how the rest of you would react.