Post # 1
R and I have been having a lot of problems and I am just confused and hurt and I do not know what I want anymore..
We need to take a break but we cant leave our place since we hust moved to a new town and no family here.
I just need advice on how to do this
Post # 2
figs2006: Is there anyone you know that you can crash on their couch? Co-worker, FB friend of a friend?
How long do you have to live together? Are you both on the lease or just one person? Can one of you leave before the lease is over? (rent out the other room to another person?) Can you sub-let to someone else? Or just suck up the fee and break the lease.
If you have to stay together while living in the same house (I hope you have separate sleeping spaces), you have to come up with some rules. No bringing dates home (even if the other person wont be home during that time). No talking to dates while the other person can hear. Dont need to check in if going to be out over night, but if going to be gone several days, let the other person know. Dont touch each others food in the kitchen. Clean up after yourself (if you dirty a dish, you need to wash it). This week one person takes out the trash and the other unloads the dishwasher, the next week switch. If you have combined money, uncombine it.
You have to set up the rules from the beginning, or it gets really uncomfortable. And depending on how careless/mean you think the other person is, you might want to get in writing that if one person brings home a date, the other person can move out with no liability towards finishing the lease. Dont know how legal it is, but it gets them to understand how important it is to be respectful towards each other.
Post # 3
You say that you need to take a “break” but not divorce…is there any chance of fixing your problems while living under the same roof?
I’m asking because it seems like there is still some hope of staying together.
There have been times where I’ve suggested a separation. My husband would always insist on working out our issues. He takes marriage very seriously. I am glad I listened to him because now our marriage is stronger.
Post # 4
Get into couple’s counseling and take it from there. If you end up separating I can’t imagine that going smoothly while you live under the same roof. You could try to live as roommates but easier said than done..
Post # 5
Couple’s counseling should be step one .