(Closed) Seperate or Joint bank accounts?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Seperate or Joint bank accounts... or both?
    Joint : (20 votes)
    35 %
    Seperate : (7 votes)
    12 %
    Both - Have seperate accounts & joint account for bills : (30 votes)
    53 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1104 posts
    Bumble bee

    Both – and I wouldn’t have it any other way ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t want to be one of those women who has to hide their purchases from their partner, and I don’t want my partner to feel like he can’t buy that gadget he’s hankering after because I’ll be mad. We split our joint expenses and have joint savings, but separately we have our own money for fun and individual bills (like phones, gym memberships, etc). We also have separate credit cards, but have just got a joint one too. We will revisit the system when we have children and I’m not working full time, but for now it works for us.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6010 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    We’re all in one, and I prefer it that way!  Also, my husband does everything with the accounts: pays all the bills, arranges how much and what savings and investments to do every month, makes appointments with out financial planner and tax guy, etc…  I have access to everything in case I want to look, but usually I prefer to keep the mystery.  ๐Ÿ™‚  My husband just tells me at the beginning of the month what we can spend on eating out/entertainment/shopping/etc… and then revises that number if something comes up.  I never feel like I have to explain anything to him, and he gets to buy "guy stuff" too without talking to me first.  We just make all major purchasing choices together.

    I know that our solution might not work for everyone, and I hope you don’t feel pressured to combine all your accounts just because you’re getting married.  Lots of people have totally separate accounts of some combination of joint and separate.  The important thing is that you and your Fi feel comfortable with the arrangement and that it works for you!

    Post # 5
    Member
    98 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    We’re going to do both, pretty much the exact same scenario as mountain.bride

    Post # 6
    Member
    71 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We are going to do both.

    I think its important to have joint money- to pay for joint things rent/mortgage, utilities, taking care of the cats etc, but I also think its important to have a his and then a her acct too. You just never know & isnt it a bit weird to use "his" money to buy "him" a bday or other type of gift? lol. in the end though it is what works for you, as a couple, what creates the least amount of headache, stress & anxiety.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3332 posts
    Sugar bee

    We have both–we’ve kept our individual accounts (and credit cards) for our individual expenses.  We’re using a combined savings/checking for joint expenses.  For me, it was important to maintain my fiancial independence and allow each of us discretion with the extra money we have.  That way, I can spend my $3.29/day on coffee without feeling like I’m taking money from our joint account.

    Post # 8
    Member
    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    We have both.  Almost all of our expenses come from a joint account, there is no fighting over a new set of clothes or anything like that.  However we kept seperate savings (10%) of each of our paychecks for gifts for each other and just knowing that there is some financial independence if I wanted something truely extravagent.

    Post # 9
    Member
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2008

    Right now we are completely seperate, mostly because we haven’t taken the time to get a joint account hooked up to either of our existing accounts. As it is unclear what part of the country we’re going to end up in, though, we’re keeping up relations with both our banks, and I’ll probably always have some small account of my own somewhere because Mr. December wanted to be sure that I was able to build my own credit in case something happened to him, as I had no regular bills before we got married.

    Post # 10
    Member
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    We have a joint account and have never had any problems. Before we bought our house we had separate accounts and then a joint account ofr bills and such. It didn’t really work very well for us. Now, all our money is together, I pay the bills and then we know how much we have to spend on eating out/home improvents/back to school shopping etc. I think it has brought us closer in a way. We decide what things take priority together and when we will treat ourselves with a little splurge. I also don’t do without anything that I don’t decide myself I don’t need. I buy my hair products at the salon still, I get my hair highlighted every 3 months. If I feel like going to get a mani-pedi I do it. He gets to go out to lunch on his days off and Shuffleboard on Wednesdays just the same. I think it makes us feel more like one unit.

    I am not bashing anyone who has separate bank accounts. Its whatever works for you and everyone is different. For us, the moment we knew this was forever was when we joined our bank accounts for good with nothing left unknown. I have a friend who, given she never should have married her husband, but once she did nothing changed and she never ever knew if he was lying or being truthful about his salary. One day she accidently saw his paycheck and it was a lot more than he’d led on. She paid a good chunk of the bills including rent. Of course, there was an excuse for that one pay period. I think if you have taken the plunge to get married, there should not be issues of dishonesty like that, but we prefer just to be all out. LOL What is funny, is even though we can both check the bank account online at anytime, he rarely does.  

    Post # 11
    Member
    2820 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    When we get married, we’re going to combine our accounts. =) We’ll have a joint chequing and a joint savings account, and that’s the way we both want it — what’s mine is yours, and all that.

    Post # 12
    Member
    120 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2018 - St. Charles Borromeo Church/Jefferson-Orleans North

    We’re opening a joint account for all of our bills and savings, then keeping our separate checkings for fun $$. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 13
    Member
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009 - Catholic ceremony, reception at local armory

    We currently have separate accounts but live together, and it is a pain.  We basically already started the "what’s mine is yours" approach, but still have two accounts.  I can’t wait to put them together.  That way, Mr. M can keep track of everything and I don’t have to worry about it. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    796 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    Miss Mascara, my husband and I were the same way. I am SO HAPPY to finally have one account. I take care of most of the bill paying, and it was so annoying to say "give me your credit card so I can pay the bills in your name", because I couldn’t pay them all out of my account.

    I don’t really think we make enough money put together for us to have a separate account for "fun" purchases – our budget is pretty tight so we normally tell each other about any purchase we make. I would like to think eventually we will move to a "both" system, but as kids are introduced to our family I don’t know if that is possible.

    I do wonder, now that all our money is together, how do you buy gifts for each other?! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 15
    Member
    952 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    We’re waiting until we get married to open a seperate account. But once we do that, we will still keep our seperate accounts as well. I don’t think we’ve decided for sure yet, but I think we’ll probably combine our savings into one account and just keep seperate checking. I think it depends on what the bank says, as our accounts were opeend in different states so that might complicate things.

    Post # 16
    Member
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    We’re doing both, and as others have said, it’s because it’s important for us to work together on the necessary bills, but remain separate when it comes to "fun money." I think someone else used the example of, "It’s weird to use OUR money to buy HIM a gift," and that’s how I think about it. I like to treat myself to some shopping and beauty treatments now and then, and the FI likes to spluge on sporting events and such, and we don’t feel like the other needs to be monitoring dollar for dollar what we spend on those things, as long as we’re saving according to our plans for our future, and we pay our bills on time.

    I honestly think that’s the best way to do it.

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