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Any 9/11/10 brides out there? I understand there is a lot of negative feelings towards this date so I wonder how many brides have stuck with and kept it...My reason for asking is that we are still playing the pick a date came and my father has just come through to help us with financing. We had initially wanted to marry next fall, but decided to put it off until the following year due to financing concerns. However, now that my father has decided to fund our wedding we are looking back into having our wedding in fall 2010. Trouble is that the number one venue has limited dates in Sept/Oct., one of these dates being 9/11/10...there are others in Oct., but I worry it is too late in Oct to consider...so my conundrum (sp)What would guests thing of a 9/11 wedding?
The only dates left in '09 when I booked was 9/11 and my date - October 24th ... I looked into 2010 and it was all booked for the entire spring/summer and some dates left for fall - which I didn't want to wait that long but the date that kept coming up everywhere was 9/11.
I just wouldn't get married on 9/11 because it has such a stigma attached to it now.
Honestly, as a wedding guest, I wouldn't mind going to a wedding on September 11th. I wouldn't be offended or anything - but here in the midwest, we're a little more isolated from what happened, as opposed to you in NY. How does your family feel? What about friends? I think it'd be nice to have your officiant say a prayer at the ceremony or have some kind of remembrance in your program.
I'm live in NYC, so I'm a bit biased. I wouldn't have any problem with going to a wedding on 9/11, but I just wouldn't want it for my own date. Living in NY, you get it shoved in your face all day long (esp when you work near the WTC like I do!). It's on cars, posters, memorabilia, store windows, graffiti...it's just everywhere. For me, there would just be too much of a stigma/negative connotation attached.
I think it would be great to have something really positive and celebratory to associate with the date instead. As a guest, I'd find it a relief to have something so upbeat to do on that day as attending a wedding. Kind of making it about rebirth and hope rather than just tragedy.
I really wanted an early Sept 2010 wedding but I was disappointed with the choices. The first weekend is the long weekend and the second was Sept 11th!
I just couldn't do it - when I think of my anniversary I want it to be filled with ONLY thoughts of my wedding and my relationship and I just couldn't do that with Sept 11th!
I really like the idea of reclaiming the date. The stigma will fade (not too many girls are worried about December 7th and Pearl Harbor, you know?) My future in-law's anniversary is September 11th. That said, I wasn't as impacted by the events as a lot of people were. Our rehearsal dinner will be on the 11th. I guess at least we'll never have the excuse of forgetting our anniversary!
I think it's fine assuming that no one in your circle of family and friends was directly affected by the attacks. Also, while it was an unthinkably horrible thing and a national tragedy, I think it would be good to - as others said - reclaim that date as something positive and celebratory in your life. I think it's important that we remember as a nation, but I don't think it needs to be a day of mourning and sadness forever. The Pearl Harbor comment was a very valid one to that end.
Ditto Kittyachi 100%. Only you can decide it it would be a good date for you.
My dad's birthday is September 11, and it's always weird to figure out if we'll go out on his brithday or the day before/after. Hopefully your anniversaries wouldn't feel that way to you. ;)
I don't know. Tragedies happen any and every day of the year, but life has to go on. It depends on how you feel about this particular one. I think it's okay to do a Sept. 11 wedding, but how do *you* feel?
I'm all for reclaiming the date! I might try to rephrase it on the invitations "The eleventh of September," for example. And of course be prepared to hear a few comments.
We were going to have ours on September 11, 2010 too, and only chose the weekend before because we have a ton of out of town guests and wanted to give them the Labor Day weekend. Go for it girl, don't worry about it.
Ooo that's a sticky one. As long as you don't work at the Pentagon, live in the area that had the incident in PA, or live in NYC you should be ok. That's like my FI's friend whose birthday is Sept. 11th. It was his birthday WAY before those bafoons decided to do what they did. If that's what you want, or what you are restricted to, do what you want! My only thing would be if you have a specific stigma (lost a family member/friend, etc) on that day and it would always carry a bad connotation for you.
Good Luck,
-Bella
our vendor actually said we could get money off if we chose 9/11 ... we went with 9/25. I don't think our guests would even really think about it but I would!
I don't think it would be a problem. I agree with what a lot fo people have said about reclaiming it for yourself and turning something negative into something positive! 
Yes, you may get some grumbles from some of your guests, but in the end it is your decision, and yours alone.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Thanks for all the input ladies!! We ended up going with a different venue which is much more spectacular and have set our date for 9/25/10
Yay congrats @bluebutterfly! I never got to put in my 2 cents about the 9/11 date... I think it's do-able but no matter what, people will always associate it with the tragedy. I'm glad everything worked out for you! :)
Congrats on selecting a venue! I also wanted to comment since that was the only September date available at our venue. Like others have mentioned, there are big discounts to be had on that day (in our case, the venue was going to throw in free uplighting and chiviari chairs with the rental fee). I say, go for it! Make the day your own, and save some money on the "extras" in the process.
I'm from NY, my fiance was near the WTC on that awful day (but not there, thankfully) and my sister has the misfortune of having a birthday on Sept. 11. Personally, I think it's a little tasteless to get married on that date, but I understand that life goes on at the same time, especially if you're not from a city that was directly affected by the events of Sept. 11, 2001.
Anyway, my point is that discounts are aplenty on that day, especially here, but that's one sale I would never take advantage of (not withstanding that I wouldn't book my wedding on a family birthday, anyway). That date was available to me when I booked my reception, but I instead took another date.
My advice? Go to October if you must. Don't put that stigma on your special day.
Hey BlueButterfly - I am a 9/11/2010 bride! I will admit that I was initially hesitant because I worried that it would influence the day. But it fit into our schedules so well - it avoids the Jewish (important for best man) and Muslim (important for MOH) holidays and labor day. The only other weekend taken at our venue in Sept or Oct was labor day. The more I thought about it the more I liked the idea of reclaiming the day. (FYI - We met in NYC in 2000 and he lived there for 5 years while we dated so we have very strong ties to NYC). Unfortunately, we may end up having to change our date because Chicago is having a citywide conference that weekend and finding good hotel rates is becoming impossible. I hope that won't be necesary because I actually like our date.
In terms of stigma or negative connotations - I am not worried about it. I think of it as a reminder to live each day to the fullest.
I agree with a lot of posters here and don't think it's that big of a deal. We got married this year and considered September 12th so right away when that date came up I thought "ooohh... wonder what brides are going to do about 9/11 next year."
With that said... as a guest I don't think I would really think twice but as my anniversary I wouldn't want people thinking "ohhh September 11th" when I just reserve that in my head as my "anniversary!" I think if I had my choice in all the dates I would pick something else but if your only option left is 9/11 I say who cares and do it.
Hi! I know I'm a bit late on the topic but I'm a 9/11/2010 bride as well. At first I was apprehensive about the date because of the stigma attached to it, but I think it's mostly because we still call it 9/11. December 7th is when the Pearl Harbor attacks happened but we don't call it 12/7...Anyway, FI and I decided to go with the date a) cuz of the amazing discount we got from our reception site, but also because we wanted to reclaim the day and make it something positive. We both know friends and family who were there (and are very blessed that they made it out ok), and we both have loved ones who went to Iraq and are being deployed to Afghanistan to continue the fight abroad, but we thought that this was in a way our statement to the terrorists that they tried, and they got us down, but they can't keep us down.
I'm also late to the game, but as a 9/11/2010 bride, I figured I'd put in my two cents. I wanted a Saturday wedding in early September, 2010. I didn't want to interfere with my guests' Labor Day plans, and I have Jewish friends, so 9/18 (Yom Kippur) also wasn't an option. I just moved back to Pittsburgh (where my fiance lives) after living in NYC for a year, and at least part of my guest list will be from NYC or DC. And actually, what helped me be more okay with it is a lot of my friends telling me that they WANTED to associate something positive with that date. I was worried they'd be offended, whereas some of my NYC friends very explicitly told me that they were tired of that day being drowned in sadness. Perhaps my friends are atypical, and I totally understand if some brides wouldn't be willing to go with that date. But it worked out as the best possibility for me.
living in Arlington, VA, 9/11 is a no-go. partly because i work in law enforcement and leave is restricted thanks to the high alert, but so many of the folks we work with associate that day with bad feelings that it would just sour my day. Hence the Sept 4th day for us :)
I am a September 11, 2010 bride as well and I was curious if anyone else out there was choosing this date as well. I have a lot of ties to NYC as well and my father actually used to work in the towers. I just visited the memorial museum in NYC this past weekend with my fiance. I was a little afraid that visiting this location would make me want to change our wedding date but I actually have a greater peace about it now that I have been to the memorial. While I feel that we should never forget what happened that day, I believe that the people who died would want us to move on and celebrate life in a way that they are no longer able to. That memorial and our mourning are not for the people who died but actually for us that are left here...it's a mechanism that we use to cope with what happened that day. I've actually been using Pearl Harbor as an example....for our children it will just be a date in their history book....
It's my FH's birthday, so I wouldn't want to have to get him two presents for one day! Which is why I wouldn't pick that day. But I agree with the other girls, if you are comfortable with the day, and your family is, go for it.
I had that chose as well for Sep 11, 2010 but i decded no because i dont want it to ever be referred to the day 9-11 and its sadness. If your ok with it do it. Depends on who our guest are maybe.. FI has family in New York and Jersey so i personally wanted to avoid it.
We got married on 9/11/09. Totally not a big deal at all. No one cared or even mentioned the date. My MOH is from Queens, and she wasn't offended or upset by the choice of date. Honestly, a date is just a date.
I personally wouldn't get married on 9/11 just because like PPs say, when I think of my wedding date, I want to think of JUST my wedding, and happiness - not on the same day as the tragedies, and sadness.
However, that's the only reason. If I had friends or family that didn't have a problem with the date and got married then, I would love to go to their wedding! And I certainly wouldn't think it was "distasteful" for them to have it then. I just see it as they can look past the "date" connection, and I can't.
Just wanted to throw in my 2 cents... I live in NYC, saw the event, and have a friend who died in the attack. It was a very scary and emotional day. So obviously, I would not get married on that date myself. And honestly, if I opened a wedding invitation and saw it was on 9/11, I would not be thrilled. That said, I would attend if it was for a good friend, and I would probably get caught up in the whole wedding and end up enjoying myself.
But again, I think this probably depends on where your wedding is and where your guests are from.
I think it would be great to reclaim the date also...I actually had a wedding to go and their wedding was on Sept.12th and they live in oklahoma and had lots of people coming in from out of town...and in order to get to the wedding you also had to drive about 100 miles after you fly...so basically that made everyone HAVE to fly in on 9/11. I thought that was kind of strange...but most people still went and had no problem with that....i didnt go because of financial reasons...
This is the date me and my fiance chose for our weeding. And as we have had mixed feelings..most out of shock and wondering why this date was the one chose. Honestly it wasnt a thought of.....thinking omg this is what happend back then..as much as it was this is our beginning...our start together to become one. What once was a horrible day..has become our amazing start at our life and family a day that I look forward to and will celebrate for years to come =D
I went through the same dilemma as you as well and ended up picking 9/18 just because I didn't want that stigma. However, I really wish I had picked 9/11 now because it's just so hard to find other resources. All the photographers have already been booked for 9/18 and a lot of them are saying that's the one day they had been booked in September. I don't think there's anything wrong with holding your celebration on that day - it's not like your capitalizing on that day and it's not like you're pretending that September 11th never happened. Life goes on - we can't let one event prevent us from celebrating love.
i know a few people who are getting married 9/11/10. one of the only friday dates available for august was 8/13 (friday the 13th has always been lucky for me). i think a lot of dates have stigmas attached to them. in all honesty, some people might say something, but i think most people go about their daily lives on these days anyway probably not even thinking too much about what stigma is attached to that date.
I will say that the only annoying thing was feeling self concious about the choice of date every time someone asked when we were getting married. Probably not many people cared, but I always thought someone was going to judge us for picking 9/11. Like I said, on the day of the wedding, it wasn't even something we thought about. My MOH had a quiet moment of reflection in the morning and then we got ready for the day ahead!
9-11 is our date. I have no reservations about having that date what so ever. We were recently at our reception site the vendor informed us that some EMT workers also had a room booked on that day. They are also being escorted by a fire truck. So they are going with a whole 911 emergency theme which is actually pretty cute.
For my FI and I this is a very special day. we started our relationship on sept 11th, 2007, so this year will be our third anniversary...
For us is the commemoration of the beginning of a beautiful relationship, and we are so thrilled that we can celebrate our wedding on such a special day :)
I definitely don't have any regrets on picking that date!
Another September 11th bride here! I was also self concious about it at first but nobody has said anything negative. In fact, many people have commented that it's nice to have a happy event that day.
I'm getting married on 9.11.2010!
My FI and I went on our first date 9.11.2005... so we will be getting married exactly 5 years (almost to the minute) from the day that our relationship started.
People have been a bit surprised, but we just laugh (we're a bit quirky as it is). It might be a different story if we were closer to NY or had someone close to us that lost someone on that day.
The bonuses to my wedding day: I can get ANY vendor I want AND the husband will NEVER forget his wedding day.
@Ciyra: Oh My God! not only we are wedding date twins! we also share crazy similar stories on why we picked that date 
.
You guys started dating exactly 2 years before my FI and I did! how loco is that?
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