Post # 1
My FI and I are attending an ultra formal evening black tie wedding in Boca Raton in November and I’m trying to find something to wear on Rent the Runway. My experience with black tie is galas and balls, not so much weddings. The wedding invitations were engraved, were so heavy it was like they were printed on some kind of drywall board, with gold hand calligraphy on all the envelopes, so I really think they are going to do it up.
We consulted FI’s mother (it’s her side of the family) and she said without hesitation that sequins were ok and that I didn’t have to wear a long dress if I didn’t want to. I do want to wear a long dress though, and it looks like most of the non-frumpy ones on RTR have sequins. I’m a little torn on the idea of sequins at a wedding though… if a ton of people will be wearing them, I would LOVE to also, because yay! sparkly! But I obviously don’t want to be the only one and look insane/detract from the bride/etc. I just want to look nice because there will be a lot of extended familiy there who will also be at our wedding so we will be doing the “congratulations!”/”thanks we hope to see you in april!” circuit.
Has anyone been to a really upscale wedding down yonder lately and noticed what people were wearing? It’s going to be a Jewish ceremony with family from mostly NJ, CT, and FL, if that helps at all.
Two I was looking at because I know Badgley Mischka fits me really well:
Thoughts? Have you ever worn sequins to a wedding? Is it a thing that’s done?
Post # 3
So i actually have first hand experience with this..My BIL’s GF wore a floor length gown with sequins (same color as your 1st selection). While she looked lovely she definitely came across as odd. I didn’t think anything of it the day of, I mean, it was my wedding day and I was not at all concerned about what anybody else was wearing!!
Apparently she really had an impact on like 99% of my guests and people were talking about it being inappropriate, etc. From my perspective – a dress like that is sort of odd but that’s about it. I don’t think she deserved the ridicule she got for it, but then again I feel like I’m pretty carefree in general. All I know is I feel bad that people are still cracking disco ball jokes a month later.
For reference, my wedding was very formal, late wedding, evening reception, fancy church and ballroom at a country club In-laws are members at. We attend many galas throughout the year and I would not hesitate to wear a dress like that to one, however, I would not wear a dress like that to a wedding.. I’m pretty conservative though. And honestly, you know your crowd better than anybody on these boards.. What is THEIR style? Are they conservative like my people are?
Sorry to make this even more difficult! It’s hard to find an event dress sometimes!
Post # 4
i was moh at a wedding wear one of the guests wore a sequin dress and people talked alot and not in a good way, i say get that dress for new years and find something less flashy for the wedding
Post # 5
Eeek, I don’t know! If this is a huge sort of “Kim Kardashian” wedding I think sequens would be fine because there is NO WAY you would outshine the bride… but it could be tricky!! Go with your gut.
Post # 6
These are the only two ok looking non-sequin gowns I could find on RTR that look like they are compatible with a real bra. I feel like they are both very dark and very blah:
Everything is either frumpy or strapless or sequined or slutty. Ugh. But I had a horrendous time finding a wedding dress for these exact same reasons… Sigh.
Post # 7
Oh I forgot to ask my follow up question – do you think it’s absolutely necessary to wear a long gown to a black tie wedding? There are definitely a lot more possibilities if I can wear something short.
Post # 8
it’s ok to wear sequins. i’ve never heard of them being looked down upon and i don’t understand why @Starling13:‘s sister in law got so much flack.
Post # 9
I’m from Boca Raton, and the area is quite fancy, so you wouldn’t stick out for wearing a sequin dress! My wedding is this weekend, and I’ve seen some outfits that are quite shiny, and noone will stand out from the crowd! I would stick to floor length though. Tends to be more appropriate for venues like the Boca resort.
Post # 10
@bebero: I suppose it was just innapropriate for our demograghic? IDK – like I said, it was everyone else who was concerned by it.
Honestly? I think you need to follow your instinct on this one. As @MizzStark1026: mentioned, Boca is pretty glitz and glam. It’s difficult to compare weddings since Formal and Black Tie can mean so many things depending on location, etc.
Just an FYI. I have an event coming up and I was eyeing your second choice, the green Bagley Mischka.. Those suckers didn’t have it in my size available so I ended up with this one:
fingers crossed it works out.
Post # 11
Ooooh I can’t decide! I could potentially get both the blue no sparkle Halston Heritage and the green sparkly Badgley Mischka since you can add a second dress for $25. I’m not sure I will run into anyone helpful after I get there but before the wedding though so that would probably end with me doing a lot of agonizing in the hotel room.
I have my FI reaching out to his female cousins right now to find out what they are wearing. Hopefully they will have a better idea!
Post # 12
Totally fine. The people PPs are talking about who talked smack about a sequin wearing guest need to have the stick removed from their ass. There are a lot of sequin gowns these days, I wish someone I know would have a black tie wedding so I could wear one!
Post # 13
I am wondering about this, too. I hope @abbie017: sees this thread, because I know she will know the answer.
Post # 14
@TrousseauHorse: I attended a Black Tie wedding recently in downtown D.C., and I’d say 75% of the women wore short dresses. But either way, I think sequins are fine! Based on your description, it sounds like it’s going to be quite the event.
Post # 15
I have to admit, my first thought was “Noooooooo” but that is more because I just don’t like sequins and less because of your actually situation. (After years as a competitive dancer, anything with sequins, mesh, or decorative netting makes me homicidal.) Reaching out to the other ladies (especially in your same age group) is a good idea. Good luck!
Post # 16
I just attended a wedding a couple weeks ago and this girl was wearing a beautiful sequined dress. I think it’s totally fine – she looks gorgeous!