- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I need some advice. Just for reference, we have not officially asked anybody to be in the wedding party yet, so all suggestions are open. Ill apologize in advance for the longness of this…
Here is the situation:
My fiance and I met through mutual friends. One of my best girl friends was dating one of his best guy friends and they introduced us. Then, they broke up. It was a really, really bad break up. They havent seen each other since (its been over two years now). Ill refer to the guy as D and the girl as K.
Anyways, D and fiance have been friends since elementary school. They are super close, like brothers really. I have no problem with D either and he is a great friend of mine as well. He is now married to a wonderful girl who I have become great friends with.
My friend, K, is engaged but has not set a date. She has asked me to be in her wedding. She is still extremely bitter over the whole breakup (although she broke up with him) and every chance she gets she talks about what a jerk he is a how bad he treated her (it was mutual bad treatement, but she is dramatic).
So, the problem is, I love K (despite her drama) and I want her to be in the wedding. However, I also really want D’s new wife to be in the wedding. I am actually closer to her than I am to K at this point.
D will definitely be in the wedding, and fiance is even considering making him best man.
D and his wife had to move out of state recently, so they would only be here for the actual wedding weekend.
The problem here is, I don’t know how to tell K that D’s wife is going to be in the wedding without her freaking out. She already knows that D most likely will, but she will see the inclusion of his wife as me betraying her. She is completely immature and will make it all about her. It will be like a personal attack. I took D and his wife’s engagement pictures and she quit talking to me for months.
I know, I know. Everybody is going to say to just not put K in the wedding if she is so dramatic. But she really is my friend, and although it gets on my nerves, I have to accept her for the way she is (dramatic and immature).
I’ve thought about telling her that D’s wife is in the wedding party because I was one person short and needed a filler, but honestly this isn’t the case at all and I wouldn’t want D’s wife to think this and have hurt feeling.
D’ wife hasn’t said anything yet, but I know she is really hoping to be in the wedding. I am really one of her only friends and she has been so sweet and helpful so far. She has talked to me more than any of the other girls I am considering as bridesmaids, and offered to help out multiple times.
Our wedding is less than a year away, and I really need to resolve this and ask my girls to be bridesmaids!
What should I do? How do I let K know that D’s wife is going to be in the wedding without causing a dramatic blow-up or without hurting her feelings?