- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Hi. I really need advice!
I’m 22 and my fiancée is 29. We got engaged April/12, when i was still in college. Everything was perfect: we love each other truly and deeply, and we were just the perfect couple.
Then I quit my job in July/12 so that i would have time to work on my last semester of college and plan the wedding. Everything was still going alright. Then I graduated in december and had all my time to plan the big wedding. Well, something started to flip off. We started fighting a lot, being jealous a lot. I began constantly complaining (even though I have only recently realized that) about his crazy work schedule and work related trips. Things got so crazy that I actually had an emotional breakdown and had to start on medication (for a short period of time). After a few weeks I got a bit better, not as crazy, but this situation kept on until last month, when after 6months of twice-a-week-fighting, we almost broke off our engagement.
Now the worst has passed, but our realationship is very damaged. We’re not as happy, as romantic… and he has stated that he has serious concerns about how I’m going to deal with his life and work – that has gotten even busier than when we first met (we’ve been together for 2 years and everytime he would go through a hard time on his job i would get really needy and demand his attention instead of giving him support) We still love each other, but the wedding is in ONE MONTH and we just arent feeling too good about each other or our relationship.
Yesterday we talked about it and i can feel he doesnt want to call it off, but none of our big questions and concerns will be solved before the wedding. I love him and I want it to work, but I dont know how to repair all the mess I made in one month and make him be SURE and HAPPY when i walk down the isle.
Is this normal? Will it go away?
ps. we live in different cities, so everything is a bit more complicated
ps1. most of my constant fighting and complaining was related to the frustration of being out work and school, being only devoted to planning the wedding and nothing else
ps2. we had huge fights, in which i acted very irrational, calling him names, throwing my engagemnt ring at him – more than once, getting out of his car while he was driving, etc. Im not proud of it and I know was stupid this all was, but I cant change what i did. Thats pretty much why he gradually lost his hope on making our relationship work.