Post # 1
I’ve been thinking about some guys I know. How they live their lives. I have guy friends that were raised by both parents but mostly just one. The ones that were raised by single parents, they seem to be having problems with stepping up and taking care of their responsibilities. One of them says it is the fact that he didn’t have a male figure in his life. He said that it takes a man to teach a boy how to be a man. I don’t know how to feel about this. I have seen men come from being raised by only their mom, grandmother, aunt or whoever and things are great for them. It makes me wonder how others feel. Is what he said to be true or is it an excuse? I told him that I can’t agree nor disagree because I am a woman that was raised by both parents. I couldn’t compare. Hopefully this doesn’t start an argument in the hive. I am just curious about how women feel about this.
Post # 3
It’s not absolutely necessary, but a strong male role model really helps.
Ideally every boy and girl shoud have at least one strong role model from either gender.
If a child has at least one strong role model though, that’s all he/she truly needs.
Post # 4
I agree to a certain extent, but the long answer to this question is very spiritual and religious in nature and I’m not sure you’re looking for that type of answer. So, in short, I think a boy needs a man to teach him to be a man. Hope I don’t sound like a crazy person with those answers, lol
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
I don’t necessarily think a man can teach someone how to be a man. FI is a perfect example. He is a great man and provider, but he certainly didn’t get that from his dad (and didn’t have any other male role model).
ETA: Or, his dad taught him how NOT to act…
Post # 6
@joya_aspera: I agree with this. Though, ideally, every child would have multiple role models from both genders, both their own and the opposite gender, I have seen amazing men grow up by being raised by women with absent fathers or no male role models, and poor men grow up having male role models (usually poor role models, but still). My fiance’s father was largely absent in his life and his main role model was always his mother. She taught him to be strong, to treat women very well, and to be the man he is to me: no main male role model required (though he did have some secondary male role models and positive male friendships that definitely helped!).
So I guess in long-form, my answer is no, not always.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
I don’t think so at all. If what “being a man” boils down to is learning right from wrong, courtesy, respect, and responsibility, then anyone, man or woman, can teach that, and I don’t think it matters if two parents or just one are involved.
Post # 8
Nope. But I’d love to see a poll.
Post # 9
My fiance was raised by a single mom essentially, and he is the manliest person I know, as is his brother. Both FI and his brother are incredibly intelligent, responsible, and kind people. They rarely skirt their responsibilities or take the easy way out.
So, to me, that seems like an excuse, or bad parenting from the female in his life
Post # 10
I don’t think it necessarily takes living with a man to teach a boy how to be a man (appropriately)
As I do think that some single Moms, Grandmas, Aunts, Older Sisters etc… have taken on this role in many a man-child’s life and done an good job
It is especially an honour when one meets a well-adjusted man who in particular treats women with the LOVE & RESPECT they deserve… and says… “I attribute it all to my mom” and genuinely means it.
WHAT I do think is lacking is MALE ROLE MODELS in our society that truly show young men (teens & 20 somethings) that women are to be valued and are not “just one of the guys”… or worse.
I think of some of the stuff I’ve seen in recent years in the media (RAP music industry in particular) where it seems apparent that treating women as objects (beyond anything even I ever imagined) is now more rampent than ever
And “some” young men, are taking away from that that it is OK to treat women poorly. I’m sorry but women are the future of mankind, as we are the ones who are the mothers of the future. Men who don’t respect women, are doing ALL of us a disservice as a society IMO
Post # 11
We do a great deal of learning through imitating models. Boys will need men to learn how to become one, and the same goes for girls becoming women.
Ideally that would be their parents. If that’s not possible, they need someone in their life to be a rolemodel, someone who is constantly there.
So yeah, absolutely.
Post # 12
@rome116: oh no, you don’t sound crazy at all. Lol in fact, I thought I was the crazy one! I appreciate any take anyone has on this. This started a pretty big discussion the other night amongst friends (who are all men by the way). I said that some of the things that they dont do is a little bit common sense like paying your bills on time. I got the you just dont understand look.
Post # 13
No. I know plenty of people (male and female) that are useless as adults. It’s not whether they were raised by just a mom, just a dad, both, etc. Its HOW they were raised.
Post # 15
@oneovakind: I think a strong male role model is helpful, but not necessary. I would think that a boy raised by his mom would have the benefit of being more attuned to women’s needs vs. being weak or less manly, but I think it probably depends on specific circumstances.
How a kid ends up is part nature and part nurture. Not all kids with bad parents (or no parents) end up badly, and not every kid with friendly middle class parents end up being a productive member of society.
Post # 16
@Bostongrl25 I agree and also think its a path they take with friends they choose and hang out with. Friends have a lot of influence on an individual.