(Closed) Seriously Do NOT need MORE stress 18days before my wedding! (RANT)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 5
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow – that’s absolutely insane.

Have you talked to an attorney to see what you could and couldn’t do at this point. I mean is there any proof your daughter has been mistreated or neglected. Unfortunately, you can’t keep your child from someone just because they’re a man-whore and make bad decisions — it’s still his child too.

Best of luck!

Post # 6
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Being that I have en Ex-husband and deal with visitation and all that…If it were me…my children would be staying with my parents and not him. Then when you get back you can look at your options for taking him to court. He doesn’t sound like he’s really fit for having her a whole week on his own. I personally wouldn’t let him have 1 overnight from the sounds of his life.

So, yes I think your parents should keep her while you are on your honeymoon. And yes, I think taking him to court when you get back is probably a good idea.

Post # 7
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Damn, Really.  Sorry all this is happening 18 days before your wedding.  I would have your daughter stay w/ your parents.  Your ex isn’t in a stable situation and your daughter shouldn’t get caught in his S&$T storm.

Post # 8
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow! He sounds really unstable! I hate when parents just keep introducing new people in their kids lives. Kids get attached quick and it’s heartbreaking when it doesn’t work out.

I would just let her stay with your parents. You don’t need to be stressed on your honeymoon wondering what is going on with your daughter, B, and J. ha ha ha BJ. (yeah I went there)

Post # 8
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

What an absolutely crazy story; I feel absolutely terrible that you are sucked into all of their drama!
I definitely would second leaving your daughter with your parents. Right before your wedding is stressful enough, and leaving her with them means you don’t have to even think about B’s mess until after you’ve enjoyed your special day and amazing honeymoon!
This is such a special time for you – don’t let some jerk and his floozey ruin it for you! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sort of dealing with the same thing right now.  His Dad doesn’t have any custody rights though so it’s a little easier for me.  He filed for divorce and is bouncing around living with friends.  I told him that if he wants to see my son that he has to go to his Mom’s house and that it will not be overnight until he’s in a stable home. 

Haven’t heard from him in 3 months…

I don’t think you really have anything to go to court for.  The only thing you could possibly do is report him for not taking his 150 hours and only taking 32 which would probably grant you full custody.

Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Could you possibly get a court order that he not see her until you can get a court date due to the living situation??

Post # 13
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If she stays with him during your honeymoon, you probably will be sick with worry and won’t enjoy yourself.  Have your parents watch her and enjoy your vacation 🙂

When you get home you can deal with the hot mess that is your ex.

Post # 15
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ve been through something similar with my ex, and father of our two children.  He’s lived in 7 different places since our divorce 10 years ago and ended up remarrying and having 3 additional children.  W/out getting into my situation too much, new wife has borderline personality disorder and the ex has moved out and back in more times than I can count (like an infinite number) and there is constant drama at their house.

Bottom line, the courts won’t step in unless the child is being hurt.  They don’t count emotional abuse and feelings being hurt (even though they should).  My attorney painted a picture of the types of abuse that the courts deal with on a daily basis (children with injuries, no roof over their heads, etc.) – those are the children that the court will protect – it would be very hard to have a court take away your ex’s rights because of relationship drama.

I would try to talk calmly to your ex, maybe play on his soft side, “I know you and your wife have been going through a lot.  My parents have offered to keep our daughter while I’m honeymooning, and I just wanted to pass it by you first.”  Maybe he’ll be glad not to have to have her, with everything else he’s got going on?

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