Post # 1
Oh my gosh, I’m so frustrated. We’ve been trying to finish these stupid invitations. All of the ones that I could do are done, the only ones left were people that I didn’t know (FI and mom were supposed to handle them). Anyways, FI has been stressed from school and said he wouldn’t have time to do them, so I just said that I could do them as long as he gave me the names that should go on the inner envelopes. Just a list of names of maybe 40 people.
After taking well over a week of waiting for this stupid list, he finally sent it to me, and half the freaking names are misspelled! I know they’re misspelled, but I have no idea what to do! I know FI just rushed through this list and wasnt even paying attention. I was trying to help him by taking a lot of work from him, but he even half-assed the easy stuff!
It’s not like I have all the time in the world to be working on these invitations. I have 3 major research papers due in a week, I’m moving out of my apartment in 2 weeks, and graduating in 3 weeks! I have a lot of stuff going on, and he’s acting like I just have time to blow on all this invitation stuff. I really want to send him a message and tell him “Look, if you want these people at the wedding, you invite them, because it’s no skin off my nose if they don’t get invited.” But that would be really ugly.
Post # 3
Why don’t you just sit down and have a talk with him? I think that would be better than sending him a message….you need to discuss this live with him.
Post # 4
I think you’re picking a fight about something that doesn’t need to be a fight.
You’re both stressed. How about, instead of accusing him and nagging him, you practice the faith and understanding that you’re going to need to have a successful marriage? A little “Sweetie, i’m so sorry life is crazy for both of us right now! I just wanted to double check the spelling of a couple of these names with you before I write them on the invites” will go a long way. He isn’t intentionally doing this – he’s probably just really overwhelmed!
Post # 5
1. Thank him first for getting the list together
2. Tell him, in a non-accusatory, gentle way, that half the names are mispelled and they have to be corrected
3. Propose to him that the two of you go through the list together and make the right corrections
4. Add, “it’ll probably only take 10 minutes, tops.”
5. Ask, “When would be a good time for you to do it?” and coordinate your schedules.
(this is pretty much the script for when DH and I have a breakdown and need to regroup. It helps to re-state that a) crap has to get done b) we’ll do crap together c) we’ll figure out when to do it so we don’t stress each other out)
Post # 6
I think you have every right to be irked about this. I’m learning that there is something about weddings that makes everyone think that the bride is charge of EVERYTHING. Way too much stress on you. After all, it is a wedding for both of you!
I think you should give him a call (and it the calmest way possible) let him know you were upset and why you were upset. Explain that you are really busy and under a lot of stress too. Then ask him to go over the names with you again. I bet he doesn’t even realize he spelled the names wrong.
Good luck! I’m sure it’ll work out!