- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
Hi all —
I work full time, I go to school full time. I have a lot of homework. I’m a busy girl. I love my fiance, but we’ve run into a sore subject here lately.
I work Mon-Fri, a typical 8:00-5:00 job. Sometimes I work partial Saturdays. I go to class Mon-Thurs, and I am home typically by 8:00 or 9:00 at night. My fiance works long hours as a car salesman, but he gets two days off as well. They’re either Tues/Weds or Sun/Mon. He also has law school, Mon, Tues, and Fri with hardly no homework. He comes home at 10:20ish.
Here’s the issue: my fiance will complain I don’t pick up enough during the week (aka I have shoes on the ground, or clothes, or I didn’t do laundry). Some weekends, like this past weekend, I bust my butt for HOURS scrubbing and getting everything in the house clean, dinner cooked by time he gets home, laundry taken care of, so he doesn’t have anything left for him by time his weekend comes. Sometimes I slack, sometimes I won’t do laundry because I figure he can help me out. But then he’ll complain that he does the bulk of the work, like putting dishes up, having to do a load or two of laundry, etc. during the week. He has no concept of time, he’ll tell me that it’s been “so long” since I’ve done a load of laundry. Wtf! I’ve done it the past 3 weekends! I try to make an effort to be more aware of where I place things during the week, and then clean on the weekend.
I recently got one of these talks from him about how I’m slacking, and I pointed out that he has no concept of time, because he thinks he’s been the one doing ev-ery-thing for the past 3 weeks. Regardless, I apologized, told him I’d need his help here and there, and I then busted my butt this weekend to get things done. Today is his day off, but he went in to school at 5:00. I come home and the bed isn’t made, the clean dishes aren’t put up, laundry isn’t done. Nothing is done. Talk about a slap in the face. I don’t feel like an almost-wife, I feel like a maid.
He doesn’t respond well if I end up upset. He considers it “nagging.” How can I express my displeasure that he’s being hippocritical and downright rude without him thinking I’m “nagging” or being whiny? He’s played video games all day. I refuse to be treated like this.