(Closed) seriously need help!!!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you are going to hurt some feelings (and most likely permanently damage relationships) by doing this. Your Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to be who you are closest to, not who is there to help you the most. You asked your sister to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, case closed. I think that just because she won’t know how to bustle your dress and is being “slightly difficult” is no reason to make her a bridesmaid, instead of Maid/Matron of Honor. 

Post # 4
14498 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

How difficult would it be to change the programs?  Are the dresses different?  Would it create any family drama to demote your sister?  I would think it would be easier and slightly less family dramatic to have a maid of honor and a matron of honor, then just have your friend stand where the Maid/Matron of Honor would stand.

Post # 5
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It sounds like your friend would have been a good choice, but is it too late?  Won’t it strain your relationship with your sister if you demote her 2 months before the wedding?  Maybe you could talk to her first about how you’re feeling and let her know you want her to be more involved and supportive before you just straight up give her the boot from being your Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 6
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@tksjewelry:  Ah, that’s a good idea.  Have a maid and a matron!  Tks always knows what to do. 😉

Post # 7
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I would keep things as is and tell your friend how much you appreciate all she has done for you.

ETA: does your sister perhaps not know what’s expected of her?  I’m thinking maybe she doesn’t realize that she needs to help with the bustle or know you’d like her helping you with things while your other friend just naturally is inclined to be supportive in that way.

Post # 9
1133 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t know I kind’ve have mixed feelings. I feel like you chose your sister over your bestie….why did you do so? I would think prior to the wedding, I would know whos personality and relationship would work best to my Maid/Matron of Honor. I don’t think you should turn around now, especially if it will ruffle feathers and cause a lot of drama. It’s your prerogative so do what’s best for your wedding, would be my best advice!

Post # 10
2705 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

DO NOT demote your sister and promote your friend – well you can promote your friend, but definitely don’t demote your sister.  That will lead to hurt feelings and lots of drama, not to mention it’s very rude.  You shouldn’t pick your Maid/Matron of Honor based on what she can and can’t do for you.   Also, I don’t understand this:

@MrsMartin0422:  When I approach her about it she ignores me then tells my mother that she doesnt mean to hurt my feelings or make me feel like the wedding is not importnat but “she has so much going on right now”. This is just too much for me. Its not just the bustle, its the emotion behind it. I do like the idea of having a maid and a matron now… that might be what I do…

Perhaps she DOES have a lot going on in her life!  Have you asked her about it lately?  Her life isn’t on hold just because you’re getting married.  I don’t understand how “it’s too much for you” that she has a life and how there is a bad emotion behind it. 

EDIT: Your sister also doesn’t have to do anything but get the dress, show up clean and sober, and be a witness.  You can ask for help or she can offer, but it’s not required of her and you shouldn’t be upset with her or demote her because of that.

The topic ‘seriously need help!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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